Cutter
by frida29
Summary: Helga has stopped her bullying ways since Arnold left, but her life at home has only gotten worse. She cuts herself as a way to escape from her emotional pain. Since Arnold is back for good he wants to help Helga but has Sid already taken his place?
1. Old Scars

**Chapter 1**

**[Helga]**

Every day is always a struggle for me; I guess I deserve all this misery that I go through every day. I have a hard ass father, an alcoholic mother, and over achieving sister and to top it off me. I hate waking up every morning and looking in the mirror to the one person I loathe the most. Hating Lila is nothing compare to hating me, how can Arnold love me if I cannot even love myself. So what if I confessed my love to him so many years ago, on the FTI roof. It all went down the drain hole when he made me take it back, I don't blame him for it, and if I were him I would have done the same. After years of torturing him what else would I expect? True I did help him find his parents in the jungles of San Lorenzo, and he did kiss me; but when Gerald interrupted I made him take it back. I used the same excuse he did, 'the heat of the moment', whatever the hell that means. He tried talking to me about it but I just always ignored the subject, he was too good for me. I would never be good enough for his love, it is better I loved him from afar and see him be happy with someone who was good enough for him. The last time I saw him it was the summer before 7th grade, he was moving to San Lorenzo with his parents. I was completely crushed, I could not function right. Why did I have to love him so much, I wish I could stop my feeling for him.

The whole gang and I have somehow managed to live without Arnold; the way he always looked on the bright side was greatly missed. He did write to everyone once or twice a month, and by everyone I mean everyone. He even wrote to me, of course I never replied back, I mean it's not like he cares or whatever. Ok so maybe I did reply once, but it was only the polite thing to do. It's not like I said much or said anything to reveling of my feelings for him. It was a very simple yet friendly letter.

_Dear Arnold,_

_ Sorry I haven't replied back, I've been really busy. I hope you like San Lorenzo and I'm glad you finally got your happy ending. It was about time Football head, you are always there for everyone and you never asked for anything in return. Anyways I'm still the same but somehow different I guess, I'm still grumpy all the time but I don't bully anymore. I have better things to do, like cleaning up after Miriam. My sister got married to some douchbag and is pregnant, Big Bob still ignores me (no surprise there) and Miriam's only love is a bottle of liquor. I have to take care of Miriam because I'm the only one that does, anyways I think that's pretty much it bucko. I hope you are happy though, well what am I saying? Of course your happy, you are finally with your parents. I hope I see you one day Football head, who would actually think I miss your optimistic, crimeny I'm losing my marbles. _

_ Sincerely _

_ Helga G. Pataki_

Ok maybe I was a bit to sentimental but so what? That doesn't mean I'm heartless, crimeny. After my first and only letter Arnold sent me his last letter. At first the letter seem like any other letter he had sent, telling me about the jungle and how cool his parents are, promising me that my life is probably better then I make it to be, and crap like that. However the very last sentence was almost not real to me, I had to read it over and over again just to make sure my mind wasn't playing a trick on me. He wrote that he was moving back to Hillwood, because his parents wanted him to finish his senior year at an actual high school. It had been 5 years since I last saw my beloved football head, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him to see my scars that I inflicted on myself. I didn't care if anyone else saw because they wouldn't give a shit, but Arnold was a completely different story. How am I going to hide all my scars that run along my legs and arms, each one of them was to feel actual pain than emotional pain. How could I explain to him that it was easier for me to deal with physical pain rather than emotional pain that were too strong for me to bear? How long have I waited for you to come back to me, and now that I you're here I still can't believe it. I wish my scars would disappear but they made me realize that I hate myself. I need to remember that, how can I expect Arnold to love me when I don't respect myself. I wish he could see what I feel for him, but he is too good for me. I will not corrupt Arnold just for my selfish desires. I have changed so much over the last 5 years; I am not the same Helga that once was 5 years ago. The only way to get over Arnold, I must destroy everything I have of him, even this locket that I have carried since pre-school. I must do it before I see Arnold at school next week.

**[Arnold]**

"Gerald!"

"My man, Arnold! Glad to have you back, welcome home!" said Gerald giving his friend their secret handshake

"It's good to be back!" It really was, as much as I loved San Lorenzo it is not home. I have been a nervous wreck since I left the airport. I don't know why I'm so nervous coming back. How different does Hillwood look? How has the gang changed? How is…Helga? I know she loved me once, but does she still love me now? I sent her letters with no response, so I assumed she moved on. However that one letter I got from her had me haywire. Is she just being nice or does it mean something more to her? God I'm a mess, she is such a complicated person.

"Your grandparents have a surprise Welcome Home party for you; your grandma however thinks it's Christmas and is making people wear Santa hats." Gerald said

"Oh I think I miss them most of all, they were so crazy yet they were the only people that made sense to me."

"Well they missed you too buddy, now go find your parents and meet me in the front, I'll go get the car."

"Thanks Gerald, is the gang at the party?"

"Yeah, and half of the Hillwood." Laughed Gerald

I wonder if Helga will be there, God I have to stop thinking about Helga. I hope she is though, I need to talk to her about….um what exactly do I need talk to her about?

"Arnold! There you are, you ready to go?" my dad asked

"Oh yeah sure dad, Gerald is waiting for us in the front, Where's mom?"

"Right here, you can't see me because I'm the one carrying the luggage!" my mom said with a smirk

"Sorry honey, do you need help?"

"I don't know does it look like it?"

"I'll help you mom, we should probably get going though."

The ride to the boarding house was quick but somehow calming. It was good to be back home, as much as I loved San Lorenzo, Hillwood would always be my home.

As I grab my backpack from the truck and open the door to the boarding house I take a deep breath and open the door.

"SURPRISE!" I hear in unison as I wear a big smile on my face

"Hey everyone! What a surprise!" I say as shocking as I could.

"Shortman, we missed you! We are so happy that you're back for good." My grandpa hugs me very tight, for being pretty old he is in very good shape.

"Kimba my dear, you must tell me how the war went. You must tell us everything." Oh dear, I sure missed my grandma calling me that. I was never really sure why she called me Kimba but I loved it never the less.

"Grandpa, Grandma I missed you guys the most. I will tell you guys everything I promise." And with that everything else was a blur; Gerald was right half of Hillwood was here. The whole gang was here, well except Helga. I was really hoping that she was here, but I guess I deserve it, she probably has moved on with her life. I don't blame her either, she has the right to move on and get on with her life. That's what I tried to tell myself anyway.

Everyone has changed but somehow I can still see the resemblance of our childhood memories in them. Rhonda, Nadine, Curly, Harold, Sid, Stinky, Phoebe, Patty, Lila, and just pretty much everyone I grew up with was gathered around me and listening to me tell my crazy San Lorenzo adventures.

We all talked and laughed, almost as if I never left; the party went on until 3am. I was getting pretty tired but I was so glad to see everyone. Sid, Gerald, and Phoebe were the last to leave since they were helping me clean up and stuff.

"Phoebe, can I ask you something?" I asked quietly

"Sure Arnold, what is it?"

"Umm…I..just wanted to know where…umm..you know…where Helga was?" I asked nervously, Phoebe must have notice because she was trying to hide her smile.

"Well I'm pretty sure she's at home Arnold." Phoebe said, I felt pretty stupid for asking because even I could have guessed that.

"Oh right, well if you see her tell her I say 'Hi' and that I want to see her soon…because she was the only one that wasn't here." I said stupidly, almost as if I was asking a question

"Got it, no problem Arnold, I'll tell her for you. Helga and me are still very good friends, despise our differences she is the only friend that gets me and vice versa. She has changed ever since you left though, she is no longer the bully she once was. Even though things at school have changed for her, life at home has only gotten worse." Phoebe said bitter-sweetly

"How is she holding up though? I wish there was something I could do for her."

"Arnold you will never change, will you?" she said warmly

"What do you mean?" I asked half curiously

"You always helping everyone, I always loved that about you. I wish you could help Helga, when she was younger she would bully people as a way to escape her pain from home but now I'm afraid she has changed tactics. It's great that she doesn't bully anymore, but I myself don't know how to help her." Phoebe said with wet eyes

"Don't worry Phoebe, I'll do everything I can to help her."

"As much as I want you to help her, I think you're the last person she would expect help from. Helga is a very strong person, but she is also weak. She wants to help herself; she denies thinking of herself as some damsel in distress."

"She has always been like that though, why is she so stubborn." I say almost a bit too loud

"It's Helga we're talking about Arnold, she is not like other girls." Phoebe says

"Yeah I suppose your right."

"Well Arnold, I'm glad your back. Text me when your free, so we can talk some more. It was great seeing you."

"Yeah for sure I will let you know. Do you want me to drive you home, it's already really late?" I say

"Thanks, but no Thanks, Gerald is taking me home along with...um Sid." Phoebe says almost like she's hiding something at the mention of Sid's name.

"Oh ok cool, thanks for helping me clean up Phoebe." I hug Phoebe good-bye "See you later, or the next time I see you" I let her go from the hug

"Good-Bye and Good night Arnold." Phoebe says as she's walking away to get Gerald and Sid

"Oh and Phoebe"

"Yes Arnold" she says as she turns around

"Congratulations, it was about time you and Gerald got together. I was starting to wonder when you guys would ever go out." I say

"Thanks Arnold" Phoebe says with a smile on her face while she goes to Gerald's car

"Have you been flirting with my girl, bro?" Gerald says jokingly

"Maybe….. No I was just asking where… umm ...where Helga was?" I say shyly

"Oh well she's probably at home, anyways got to run Arnold, I have to drive Phoebe home and Sid."

"Yeah she's taking care of Miriam again, since she stopped going to rehab." Sid said

"How do you?" I say sounding a bit angry

"Well she texted me." Sid says confused

"Oh right, well it was nice seeing you guys again. We must get the gang together for some baseball reunion." I say trying to sound as cheerful as I could

"Alright my man, see you tomorrow." Gerald says as we do our secret handshake

"Bye Arnold" Sid says as we shake hands awkwardly

And with that all three of them leave, with more questions in my head then before. Is Sid friends with Helga? What is Helga doing instead of bullying people? Man I need sleep and just try to forget about it until tomorrow.

* * *

><p>I do not own <span>Hey Arnold<span>, I wish I did though

This is my first Fanfic ever so please be kind, and Review If you like it. If you don't like it review it anyway and tell me why you don't like it

I hope to finish the story before I start school so keep your fingers crossed!


	2. Fresh Wounds

**Chapter 2**

**[Helga] **

This is the last time I will do it.

I grab my pocket knife from my drawer and hide in my shrine-less closet, I have put up with all of Bobs insults but this is just too much.

Ok father, I know I'm not as pretty as Olga, or smarter, charismatic, or perfect… but did he really have to say all of what he said.

I'm washing the dishes because Miriam is passed out on the couch again, and Big Bob is sitting on his ass watching t.v

"Hey Olga, make me a sandwich since you're not doing anything." Big Bob yells from the trophy room, ok it's really a living room but it's filled with all 153 trophy's and 1st prize ribbons from Olga. I however have 1 crappy ass ribbon from this poetry contest I entered. It's under Olga's winning and success that suppresses the only thing I have to show.

"Crimeny Dad, I'm washing the dishes, just give me a second." I say just as loud. Why can't he get up from the couch for once?

I take out the white bread, some ham, mustard, mayo and cheese from the fridge. To toast the bread or not to toast it? That is the question…. Un-toasted I decide, since the toaster doesn't work. I slap everything together and give it to Bob.

"Here's your sandwich." I say bitterly

"Yeah whatever" he takes the sandwich from my hands and takes a bite off it "Damn it Olga, you put too much mustard on it. Are you that incompetent that you can't even make a fucking sandwich? You are such a waste of Pataki blood."

"Bob, the last time I put mustard you told me it wasn't enough and the next time that I should put 2 tablespoons of mustard. Guess I did what you told me too, so if you don't like it don't eat!" I start to yell

"You're so stupid, your sister always made the best. If only you were half the girl Olga is then maybe I would actually be proud to call you my daughter. You're worthless Helga, just get out of my sight."

"Oh so now you only call me by my actual name, only to insult me!" I spit out

Just as I say that check feels like it's been burn, Bob's fucking palm is hard as fuck. With that blow to the face, I manage to somehow loss my balance and ended up on the floor. I hate his guts so much, as soon as I have the money I'm moving out.

"That's what you get for talking back!" he says shouting at me "Now go upstairs before you make me sick."

I glare at him with hate in my eyes as I stand up and go upstairs. I go lock the door to my room as tears flow from my eyes.

Thanks for pointing out the obvious Big Bob; I know I will never be Olga. I hold the pocket knife and lock myself in the closet. I have my bloody towel that I used and some bandages; I press the knife to my thighs this time, as blood runs along my leg. I don't cute myself to be emo, I do it because for just a second I'm not focus on my emotions, it's only physical pain. The only one that knows about it is Sid; I don't even have the guts to tell Phoebe because she cares too much for me. I give myself two more cuts and then finally bliss settles over me.

I clean myself up and just lie in my closet and close my eyes, just as I'm relaxing my phone goes off. 'Help I'm Alive' by Metric is ringing and ringing as I decide whether to answer or not. I look in the caller ID, its Sid. I'm actually happy he called. I take a deep breath and answer my phone.

"Hey Sid" I say in a mono tone way

"Helga what's wrong?" Sid asks

Damn it Sid, why do you know me so well.

"Nothing, why?" I say trying to fool him and myself as well

"Helga I know you to well, I know that voice, that's the voice you use when you're trying to hide something."

"Damn you Sid, I hate you. You know me to well."

"Yeah whatever, I hate you too, spit it out already Helga."

"Sid… I… I did it again. I know I said I wasn't going to do it again but I just needed that escape."

"Damn it Helga, I told you to call me whenever you felt like doing it again!"

"I know, I know crimeny, I don't need you to yell at me too Sid!" I say

"Sorry Helga, do you want to talk about what happened?" He says quietly

"Actually yeah, I need to get out of the house. I'll meet you at the park in 15."

"Ok, I'm way ahead of you; I'm already on my way."

"You're such a loser Sid; I'll meet you there then."

I love Sid he always makes me feel better; we became really good friends even after we broke up. As much as I wanted to move on without Arnold, I just couldn't, it wasn't fair for Sid. I change my clothes to some black skinny jeans, my favorite Beatles 'T' and some pink converse and my infamous pink beanie.

I grab my keys and take the bus to the park, as I suspected it Sid was already waiting for me by the swings with two coffees in his hand. I can't help but smile at him; every time I need to talk to him he always gets coffee with donuts.

"Did you bring the donuts?" I say

"When don't I?" Sid says, I hate him when he does that, answering my question with a question. Smart ass

"Oh shut up and give me that." I say grabbing my coffee and sitting next to him on the swing

"So what's really wrong Helga?" He says,

As I tell him everything he just sits there and listens to me, it's so nice that I don't have to hide myself around him. I didn't need to tell him about my cutting either, because he saw the scars but he didn't need an explanation, he just sort of knew.

When we were going out everything was going great, until our 5 month anniversary. Let's just say our hormones where going crazy, I was taking of his shirt and he was taking of my pants when he suddenly saw them. My scars, I pulled up my pants as I shoved him and yelled at him to leave. I didn't want to be that bully but I didn't want him to see me like that. I tried to push him away but he just hugged me and promised me that everything was going to be ok.

I hugged him back and for the very first time in my life I told him everything, even about Arnold. I didn't need to put up walls or anything. It was just me and Sid talking. I will always love him for that, I tried to make myself fall in love with him but my tries were all useless. I will always love Sid but I will never be in love with him as long as I' am in love with Arnold.

"Helga, you'll turn 18 pretty soon. I think you should move out as soon as you have the funds for it. I hate your dad for always making you feel like shit!" Sid says angry

"That's exactly what I plan to do Sid, even if it's just enough for the crappiest apartment in the city I don't care; as long as I don't have to put up with the old man!" I say

Sid gets up from the swing and hugs me very tight, almost as if he wants to protect me from something; I hug him back with tears forming in my eyes. I hold them back however, I hate crying in public it just shows I'm weak.

"Are you feeling better?" Sid asks me

"You know, I actually feel 100x better. Thank you Sid for always being there for me, I don't know what I would do without you."

"Good, because I wanted to ask you something and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."

"If you want to ask me out one more time Sid, I swear I will take Old Betsy and the five avengers out of retirement." I say jokingly

"No it's not that, I think I have dealt with enough rejection from you Helga." He laughs at my dismay

"Oh ok well what is it long john?" He never seems to mind about his nick name since his nose reminds me of a Long John.

"How do you feel about seeing Arnold at school again? Sid says choosing his words carefully

"Well I don't know yet, I'll tell you when I actually see him in school next week…. But to tell you the truth Sid I have no idea as to how I'm going to react, and it scares me. Do you have a square by any chance?"

I say

"Yeah but I only got Newport." He says taking out the cig, Sid and me started to smoke our freshman year when we went to a senior party. We usually smoke a pack a month, because we only smoke when we have our heart to heart conversations.

"That's good enough for me." I grab a square and lite it up with my Beatles lighter that Sid gave me for my 16th birthday. He was the reason I started to listen to The Beatles, I knew who they were when I was younger but I never really listened to them until Sid burned me a copy of their White Album. Now I own all their stuff and even some solo work from each Beatle.

* * *

><p>Big Bob is a bastard, poor Helga.. Well anyways I felt inspired and I wrote out chapter 2 last night, then fell asleep at like 3am haha<p>

Anyway Reviews are greatly appreciated :D


	3. First Time For Everything

**This Chapter is Rated M for sexual scenes**

**I keep forgetting to put this but before you sue me, I do not own any of the Hey Arnold characters. **

**Chapter 3**

**[Arnold]**

Should I just talk to Helga or ask Phoebe on what's going on?

Damn it ok I'll call Phoebe, I take out my phone and I dial her number and then I'll just casually ask Sid and Helga's relationship status. That sounds easy enough

Suddenly my palm start to get sweaty as the ringing in my ear gets louder and louder; I hear a click and think about hanging up the phone

"Hello?"

"Phoebe!" I say half loud and surprised

"Uh yeah Arnold, what's wrong?" she asks worriedly

"I just wanted to see how the weather was by you?" the weather Arnold, really, way to make it subtle. I face palm myself before I say something stupid again

"Um Arnold I live like 5 blocks from your house, I think it's pretty much the same warm weather." Phoebe says trying to hide her giggles

"Yeah I know, I just wanted to see how Helga was."

"Well she texted me this morning saying that she wanted to see a movie after she's done hanging out with… um Sid." She said softly almost whispering Sid's name

"Really, since when did they become good friends?" I was shock at myself by how my tone changed

"Well believe it or not Arnold, they became good friends since they broke up last year."

"THEY WENT OUT? I mean umm *cough* why did they break up? How long did they go out? When did they start to go out?" Damn you word vomit; I wasn't supposed to ask my questions out loud.

"Well to answer your questions Arnold, they did go out. They started to go out freshman year and broke up Jr year. I'm not sure if I should tell you why they broke up though, and they went out for about 2 years and a half."

"Oh ok, um what movie did you plan to go see?" I say trying to hide my surprised voice

"I'm not sure; we're thinking Sherlock Holmes because we have been dying to see it."

"Well maybe I'll see you there; Gerald and I have also wanted to see that movie."

"I hope I see you there, if not I'll see you during the weekend then." Phoebe says

"Ok Phoebe, I'll just text you later then; me and Gerald are going to play some ball in the park."

"Alright Arnold take care."

"Bye Phoebe." And with that I hear the doorbell ring. Just in time to, I must say Gerald has impeccable timing. I go downstairs and open the door to see Gerald in his standard red hoodie with his favorite number 33 imprinted on it, some black jogging pants.

"You ready to go Arnold?" Gerald says

"Yeah, let me just go get my glove and I'll be down here in a sec."

"Alright bro" he says while doing our handshake

A few minutes later Gerald and me are walking to the park and just catching up, when we finally get there at the corner of my eyes I see Helga on the swing hugging Sid in a warm embrace

I grab Gerald and turn back around, what the hell is happening to me. I should be happy for Helga that she has someone helping her out… but why am I so jealous. I should be the one helping her, that's how it's always been.

"Dude, what is wrong with you? It's like you saw a ghost or something!" Gerald explains

"Sorry, I just remembered I don't want to play ball in this park, let's go to Gerald's Field instead."

"Whatever you say Arnold"

Damn that was close, I need to just act like myself the next time I see Helga

When we're finally at the other park I feel the need to tell Gerald what is going on with me.

"Gerald do you mind if I talk to you about something that has been on my mind lately?"

"Yeah Arnold, that's why were friends, so spit it out?"

"Well you're going to think that I finally lost it, but I think I might have feeling for Helga"

"You know what I'm not surprised; I'm not as dense as you are Arnold. Like I know why we turned around when we went to the park. You saw Helga and Sid." Gerald says with confidence

"How do you know all that?" I say curiously

"Arnold, I'm your best friends! It's my job to know what is bothering you."

As I tell my best friend my problem he just listens to me and helps me figure out how I feel about her. I start from the beginning, from when Helga confessed her love to me and making her take it back, to the only letter she sent to me and my own mixed feelings about her.

"You know Arnold, even though Helga and I haven't been the best of friends I also care for her. I know It's in you nature to people out, but maybe Helga is too broken for you to fix." Gerald says melancholy

"I don't know Gerald; I'm still going to try to help her out. Do you think Sid and Helga still have feeling for each other?" I ask

"Oh so I assume you heard about their past then… well I don't think so. They broke up last year and now they're still really good friends."

"So I heard, well I'm going to try to talk to Helga when we start school next week then."

**[Sid]**

I hug Helga tightly for the last time wanting to protect her from her pain

"Sid, I really don't know what I would do without you."

"I don't know either; you might have committed a life of crime or escaped to a traveling circus. The possibilities are endless!"

"Long John for being so kind you're also a dick."

"But that's why you liked me in the first place!" I say

"Your right, well we better get going then if you want to be on time for your job this time!"

"Well my manager won't mind, oh and I talked to my manager to see if we need an employer at Hot Rags, and you're in luck because they are accepting job applications." I say very thrilled

"Sid you're the best thanks, I'm tired of working at fucking Jewel. Did I tell you that my manager tried to hit on me again?"

"No, but I mean I can't blame him Helga you sure blossomed from the girl I use to once feared."

"Haha very charming Sid, but he slapped my ass thinking I was his girlfriend that works there with me. Ugh what a pig! Before I leave to the movies with Phoebe I will stop by to give you my job application."

"Alright cool, I hope we get the same shifts but I'm pretty sure we will have different schedules." I say

"Oh well, as long as I get the job there, since I would love the awesome discounts. I saw that they had this new John Lennon pink hoodie, and I want it!"

"If I knew you were going to be this obsessed about The Beatles, I would have never burned you their cd."

She really was obsessed with them though. She has all of their CD's and movies, mugs, t-shirts and even re decorated her room to a Beatle-mania room. I really like Helga but there are still lingering feelings of more than just friends. I know she will never love me because of Arnold but I still always treasured our romantic times together.

The first time I kissed her was filled with lust, passion, and need from the both of us. I remember our 5 months together, the time I saw her scars. It was so painful to watch her hate herself. I just remembered hugging her tight and not letting go. She doesn't cut herself as often but it still pains me to think of her, hurting herself. The first time we made love was the happiest day of my life but it was also the worst.

I start to get a flashback of the event I will always treasure but hate at the same time

_"Are you sure you want this Helga?" I say_

_Helga just nods as I start to kiss her on her neck, I hear her moan in pleasure. I begin to take her shirt off and she takes of my shirt kissing my chest and neck fiercely. Helga starts to take of her pants and I take off my pants, leaving us with only very little clothing._

_I stare at her as if she was only a figment of my imagination; I grab her warmly and kiss her again, only with more passion and fire in my eyes. Helga entangles her hand in my hair and pulls me closer to her. My hand begins to wonder on her stomach and slowly on her breast; she puts her hand on top of mine and slides it under her bra._

_I see her desire to be touched and loved, I squeeze them carefully and I start to kiss her chest. She starts to take off my boxers as I try to helplessly take off her bra, with frustration in my movements she smiles and takes her bra off along with her underwear._

_I grab the back of her head as I slowly lay her down on my bed; I carefully lay on top of her making sure I don't crush her with my weight. We kiss for what seems like forever and after what seems like eternity, Helga opens her legs as she nods with approval. I kiss her before I slowly go in, she moans and I stop not wanting to hurt her._

_"Are you ok, do you want me to stop?" I ask not wanting to stop but if she's not ready then I must_

_"No silly, it's supposed to hurt the first time, just keep going." She assures me_

_I keep going and a kiss her deeply, I go slowly at first as she adjust. The she turn me around so that she is on top. She quickens the pace as I start to climax. I moan in pleasure as I shout her name_

_"OH HELGA!" I shout almost a bit too loud, I keep going until she finishes off. I feel like guys always forget about the girls, it's like as soon as they climax that it's over._

_I see Helga's face flush with color in her cheeks and she moans in pleasure even more_

_"SID!" she shouts back, we both lay on my bed from exhaustion. I felt so tired but content and happy._

_"Sorry" I hear Helga say_

_"About what?" I say confused_

_"I got blood on your sheets" she says shyly_

_I knew it was her first time, it was my first time too and it felt great but there was something off about her tone_

_"That's ok, but something else is bothering you and it's not the blood. What is it? I say_

_"I don't know if I should tell you though." She says hesitantly_

_"Helga just tell me, I want you to always tell me what's in your mind."_

_"I… I want you to not get mad at me though." I hear her voice choke up_

_"It's ok Helga, I promise you whatever it is I won't get mad." I somehow regret what I say_

_"I want you to know I will always love you but I'm still in love with Arnold. I can never be in love with someone as long as I'm still in love with Arnold. I want to break up with you because you deserve someone who can return that love; I'm not that person Sid. As much as I want to move on, I just can't. I hate myself for saying this but I don't want us to be together anymore, I thought if we made love that I would somehow make me forget about Arnold and I would now be able to move on." At this point she is crying and hiding her face in her hands_

_I shouldn't be surprised somehow I already knew this day would come. As much as it pains me to accept the fact that she will never be in love with me I still can't deny the fact that it hurts like hell. I love her so much, I would do anything to make her happy, even if it means with someone else. I don't regret going out with Helga, because she will always be the best thing that has happened in my life. I don't care if we break up, I just want to be her friend now._

_"Helga, I love you. I want you to be happy, I wish I could be the one but I'm not. I want you to know that I'm not angry at you; I still want to be friends. But promise me that you will not hate yourself for breaking up with me. I will always be here for you, I promise, even if it just means that I will just be friends with you." I hug her tightly and she hugs me back with tears running down her face_

_"Sid, I love you so much. It's hard not to hate myself, since that is the only thing I seem to be good at." She says tiredly_

_"Don't say that, we can talk more about it tomorrow, just sleep for now." I say as we both lay down on my bed in a warm embrace._

My flashback ends as I'm overcome with happiness and sadness at the same time.

"Well lets hurry up and get you to work I have to meet Phoebe in like 30min" Helga says

"Alright lets go then, don't forget to drop of the application before you have fun without me" I say while sticking my tongue at her. She flicks me off and we just head to my job.

* * *

><p>Well I'm not sure if I really like this chapter, idk I think I ran out of fuel for now.<p>

I have so many scenarios in my head I'm not sure how I should write them. It was very weird writing this sex scene, I had to read a bunch of M rated fan fics so I could get an idea on how to write it. But poor Sid, I feel bad for him now.

I hope you enjoyed reading this though. If you have any suggestions just message me, I would happily accept them don't be shy.

Sorry for the errors again, I don't really read over my work.


	4. Coincidence

**Sorry for my long ass update, I wrote this chapter in parts. So to make up for it, this chapter is by far the longest chapter!**

**As always I don't own Hey Arnold, the characters are from the Craig Barlett and R&R are greatly appreciated **

**Chapter 4**

**[Helga] **

I can't believe my weekend ended that fast, I thought I would be ready to face Arnold tomorrow but now I'm not even sure.

I need to get over him by just treating him like everyone else, if I do that then he will just think of me like a friend and nothing more. Ok I think that's my plan for tomorrow and now I shall get to bed before I hang myself from a nervous breakdown.

I grab my leggings and a long t-shirt as I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

My phone rings to 'Srg. Pepper Lonely Heart Club Band' by the Beatles and I just let it ring for a moment since I love that song, I know it's Sid since that's the song that comes up when he calls. I go and grab my phone with my toothbrush still in my mouth and I answer the phone.

"Hey Sid" I say almost as If I was slurring my words

"Are you drunk Helga? Why do you sound weird?" Sid asks

I spit out the toothpaste "I was brushing my teeth moron, besides you know I hate drinking on Sundays. Anyways what's up?"

"Well I have some news for you that will make you love me forever."

"SID! Omg did I get the job?" I say in sheer joy

"Well did I get you the job, yes, I'm not entirely sure if you did much." Sid says jokingly emphasizing in the, you, part.

"Oh shut up you dick, you might not see me but I'm currently flicking you off!"

"If that's the closest 'Thank You' I can get from you then You Welcome."

"Ugh crimeny stop trying to make me feel guilty." I say

"Hey, it's not my fault! Anyways I better get going; I still have to take a shower since tomorrow is the first day of school. Umm…How do you feel, you nervous?

"Fuck yeah I'm nervous, I haven't seen him in five years what do you expect, crimeny! I just pray we aren't in any classes together."

"Well I hope you feel better by tomorrow, I'll see you tomorrow at lunch if we don't have any classes together before then."

"Thanks Sid, alright then. I'll see you tomorrow." I say a bit neutral

"Bye Helga."

I hang up my phone and set my alarm early so I could avoid contact with Arnold and sneak in my classes before everyone else. Why am I making things so difficult! I swear to god, if someone cloned me I think I would have killed my clone. I throw some cold water at my face to calm down and head to bed feeling more exhausted than ever.

I close my eyes and slowly drift to a deep coma like sleep…

**Beep Beep Beep**

I groan from the sound of my obnoxious alarm clock, I look at the time it's 6:50. Just five more minutes, I think to myself. I turn off my alarm and close my eyes once again, five minutes pass and I finally open my eyes. I rub my eyes trying to gain eyesight back, and I jump from my bed getting ready for school. Those 5 minutes turned into 30 minutes! I try to open and close my eyes just to make sure the time was right, 7:20 it said with its bright red numbers.

"Fuck" I say out loud

I grab the first thing I see not even caring what it was, after I'm dress I finally look in the mirror to brush my teeth. I had grabbed my yellow submarine tube top, hot pink leggings, my black combat boots; to top it all off I wear my hair in a messy half pony tail with a small hair clip the shape of a pink bow, resembling the one I would wear as a child.

I quickly brush my teeth, grab my messenger bag, and zoom out to catch the bus. There goes getting to school early…

The bus stop is right in front of Hillwood High and I walk towards the front when I freeze and I see him….. Arnold. He has changed so much since the last time I saw him. He is definitely taller than me by a few inches; he has the shaggy messy hair wearing that stupid blue hat, black skinny jeans with gray chucks and a red flannel shirt resembling the one he would wear in our youth.

He doesn't see me because he is surrounded by a bunch of his friends; I quickly make a run towards the back entrance of the school. I get in and I'm out of breath not realizing I was holding it in; I look at my schedule and nothing but boring classes.

Pataki G. Helga

Fall Semester Schedule

Period 1- American History Mr. Marley

Period 2- English/Brit Lit Mrs. Peterson

Period 3- Economic Mr. Menella

Period 4- French 4 Honors Mrs. Pier

Period 5- Photography III Mr. Burton

Period 6- Lunch

Period 7- Anatomy Mr. Sweeny

Period 8- Study Hall Mr. Todd

The good thing about having a study hall last period, I can ditch school easily; maybe this semester wasn't going to be bad after all. I go to my locker and put all my stuff there, before heading out to my first class I check my phone. It's 7:50, I still have 10 minutes until school starts; I grab my book and notebook for my history class and slowly take the long way.

I finally get to my class with few of my peers in the classroom, I take a seat in the far left hand corner of the room and I just sit there until more students' start to flow in the class. I like sitting in the corner of the rooms, teachers barely notice you and so does everyone else. By 7:57 all the desk are occupied besides the one in front of me, I guess this is my lucky day; I can put my feet up and my stuff in the desk in front of me(that way I have more room to sleep on). I grab my little tiny sketch book and I start to draw and write little poems and short sonnets when I hear someone else come in.

Great I spoke to soon, I quickly get my stuff from the other desk not even bothering to look up. I hear the person coming my way to the empty desk when he stops directly in front of my desk…

"Helga?" I hear the person say and my heart automatically stops, already knowing who this person is.

I slowly look up to face the person I have been trying to avoid so hard, only to find out we have this class together.

"Arnold?" I say a bit too loud for others to turn their heads around

The final bell rings and the teacher orders everyone to sit down, saved by the bell, thank god! Arnold quickly sits down wanting to say something but is immediately interrupted by the morning announcements. The final moment I have been waiting for turns out completely different than what I was expecting. Here, the love of my life is literally right under my nose and I don't do anything about it. For so many years I have wrote poems about him and now that he is within an arm's reach I'm left speech less!

I feel the clock slowly going, almost like its torturing me with the seconds going half the pace. I feel a cold sweat forming and after a few seconds of deep breathing I finally calm down.

"Helga, calm the fuck down" I whisper to my self

When the class is over I'm sprinting my ass out of the room before Arnold even notices I'm gone. With so much dedication to my perfect plan I didn't even hear the bell ring, that's when I se everyone already leaving the class. With no time to lose I start to run out of the class when I hear Arnold calling my name, great just great!

"Helga, wait!" I hear him say again, with all the morons blocking my way to freedom the only thing I can do is turn around to see Arnold staring at me.

"Hey football head." I say nervously

Arnold still stares at me with wide eyes, I sort of start to worry. Why the hell is he staring do I have something on my face or something? What is his problem? As if he was reading my mind he says

"Sorry for staring Helga, but you look so different since the last time I saw you."

"Yeah, well it's been five years what did you expect Football head?"

"I don't know, hey listen we should get together and hang out. We can catch up on things we missed." He says nervously

"That would be… umm nice. Anyways we should probably get to our classes before we're late."

"Oh ok, can I walk you to your class then"

"Um no it's ok, if anything I should be the one walking you to your class since you don't know the building yet."

"Yeah your right, it took me forever to find this class, I was almost late."

"I would offer but I'm already running late as it is, I'll see you later." I quickly run out the door and head to the second floor. As I'm heading to my second class I have this weird feeling like someone is following me. I slowly turn my head and I see Arnold a few paces back.

"Are you lost football head?"

"Umm I don't know, but if you can tell me where room B2-286 is that would be great."

"Do you have English with Mrs. Peterson?" I say already knowing the answer

"Yeah, do you know the teacher?"

"No not yet, but that's my next class, so let's go."

"It's like grade school all over again, you and me getting the same classes all the time."

"Yeah, I'm so excited" I say flatly not wanting to remember my childhood with Arnold

We finally get to class but we sit in different parts of the room, the class seems relatively short but boring nonetheless. As the day goes on, my biggest nightmare came true, me and Arnold having the same classes together. I really need lunch to come already so I can talk to Sid and Phoebe, so far I have been feeling a little queasy from the nerves. Other than that however I feel fine around Arnold, I'm treating him like I do with everyone else.

As lunch approaches slower by the seconds I gather my stuff to get ready to leave and head off to meet Sid and Phoebe. Just as the bell rings Arnold grabs my hand before I leave, great just great… everything is turning out just peachy perfect, I say to myself sarcastically

"Helga wait for me but I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch with me and Gerald today, you know to catch up since I haven't seen you since the summer before 7th grade." He said nervously

"I would love to but I already promised Sid and Phoebe I would meet them in the school yard for lunch, next time ok."

"Oh, yeah sure, no problem." Arnold said a bit disappointed

After that I leave to meet up with my two best friends, I'm so glad to see them as I see them sitting under a tree.

"Guys, you are not going to believe this but Arnold and I have the same classes together." I say quickly

"Really?" They said in unison

"Maybe it's a sign; you and Arnold should get to know each other better." Sid says

"I concur, besides wouldn't it be cool to be best friends dating another set of best friends. We would all be the cutest couples."

"Phoebe"

"Oh we can even go to prom together and we would get a limo and we could go to Rhonda's after party and we would have so much fun."

"Phoebe!"

"We should have a double date soon and we can talk about Homecoming, since its next month."

"Phoebe! Crimeny, Football head and I aren't even close friends, let alone be a couple." I say interrupting Phoebe's thoughts

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Well we should just go to the movies one day and hang out."

"Yeah one day anyways before I came over here Arnold invited me to be with your arm candy and him to lunch." I say

"Oh really, and how did you react Helga?" Sid said

"Well I told him I was already meeting you guys and that I would join them some other day."

"I figured that much, but the real question is how do you feel around him?"

"Sid I don't know, I want to be over him and just move on with my fucking life! But I can't, it's like every time I see him I become that love struck girl from preschool all over again. I hate him for that but I still love him, subconsciously I want him to notice me but I'm not sure if I'm ready. Let's say that in a hypothetical situation Arnold and me dated and he broke up with me, I don't know if I would be able to go through that pain. Of him not loving me back, you know?" I say speaking more to myself

"Helga you have try, you can't just do that. Keep it all to yourself and not letting Arnold know how you feel. What if we graduate, go to different schools and you never let him know how you feel. You would always have those 'what if' questions. If you tell him and he doesn't fell the same for you then maybe you can actually move on; if he does feel something for you, then you know the possibilities are endless" Phoebe says

"I have to agree with you my Asian friend, Helga you deserve some closure to your heart. I tried to fill up that empty hole but you will always love Arnold until you actually confront him." Sid says

"You guys are right, maybe I should try to get closer to Arnold, but I'm not going to spill my guts to him like I did on the FTI roof so many years ago. He completely freaked when I told him, this time it's going to be different. I'm not going to make the same mistake, if I did tell him my feeling he would only push me away."

I hear the bell ring, indicating everyone that lunch was over. I groaned not wanting to go; I'm only going to Anatomy and then I'm going home. Nobody takes attendance for a study hall so it's going to be easy to ditch.

"What is your next class?" I ask Phoebe and Sid

"I have Anatomy, you?" Sid says

"Yes we finally have a class together." I cheered

"Well what a coincidence, I also have Anatomy." Said Phoebe

"Yay, cause we're the three best friends that anyone could have!" I have singed

"I'm the hot one just to let you guys know." Sid shouted

"Yeah right, anyways let's get to class losers. I need to we need to claim the good seats."

We head to our Anatomy class and with luck get the corner part of the room. As the final bell almost rings, Arnold and Gerald run right in the room out of breath. Great just what I need; Arnold to be in my last two classes of the day. Arnold sits next to Sid and Gerald of course sits in the empty seat next to Phoebe.

"Babe, what a surprise! It's good to see we finally have another class together." Gerald says

"Babe, you're too good for me! I'm nothing without you" Sid whispers to me, mimicking Gerald. I laugh because he is the best at mimicking people

**[Arnold]**

I finally sit down in the seat next to Sid, just one desk apart from Helga when I hear Helga laugh from something that Sid told her.

For some reason I wish I was the one in Sid's seat making Helga laugh. God! What is wrong with me, I should be happy that Sid and Helga are good friends.

I still hear Helga's laughter roaming around me and I just listened for the first time, it was very contagious because it made me want to laugh. Wow her laugh is amazing, nothing compare to Lila… Wait why am I even comparing the two, they are complete opposites.

"What's so funny?" I finally say to Helga and Sid

"Oh nothing, just something that Sid said." Helga responded

I just sit there next to the group like an awkward 3rd wheel, tomorrow I'll see if I can get the seat next to Helga. As I'm thinking about plans for tomorrow I hear the bell ring, the students are leaving as Gerald and I exchange our signature handshake and walks off with Phoebe leaving Sid, Helga and I. I gather my stuff as I listen to what Helga and Sid are saying.

"What's your next class Pataki?" Sid asks Helga

"Study Hall, you Long John?"

"Oh I have English."

"I have English 2nd hour, I was hoping we had our next class together. Oh well I'll see you tomorrow then; I'm leaving early today." Helga says

"Cool, I'll see you tomorrow then. I'll probably text you later." Sid says as he runs out the room and leaves Helga to gather her things

"Do you mind walking me to study hall Helga?" I pretty much shout at her from nerves, I was starting to get a cold sweat. I have been acting weird lately and I don't know why; wait actually it's only around Helga I start acting weird. Even when she doesn't mean to she torments me!

"I'm guessing you over heard me Football Head, I would walk you but I'm ditching."

"You won't get caught?" I say surprised

"It's study hall, no one cares especially when it's at the end of the day, everyone just wants to leave. Do you want to join me?" Helga says

"Um I don't know Helga, I'm new so maybe I should go just for today." I say mentally kicking myself in the ass

"Whatever floats your boat Arnold, see you tomorrow." She says walking out the door

I run out to catch up with her

"Wait, on second though I think I'll join you."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm not to crazy about this chapter, I think I was missing some sparks into it <strong>

**It's more like a filler chapter, next chapter I promise it's going to be better. Remember this is my first FanFic ever! **

**Please R&R, tell me why you like or don't like it**

**If you don't like it please tell me why, I don't get offended if it's constructive criticism. **

**Thanks for reading! **


	5. Shattered Lives

**FYI- I do not own Hey Arnold!**

**Chapter 5**

**[Helga]**

"Wait, on second thought I think I'll join you." I hear Arnold say

"Did I hear right? Mr. Goodie-Two-Shoes ditching class? Well I'm surprised." I smile flirtatiously

I was defiantly shocked, I was only joking when I invited him to ditch. I wouldn't think he would actually do it, I guess he proved me wrong.

"Yeah, you heard me right Pataki, I'm not always good you know!" Arnold said while giving me a mischievous smile.

"Well in that case let's go Football Head." I did not see that coming, it might have been 5 years since I last saw him but it only feels like yesterday when we were 9.

"Where should we go?" he said while walking outside the school parking lot

"Good question, I really don't know. I was planning on going home but then you messed up my plans."

"Do you want to throw rocks by the dock?" he says playfully

"Throw rocks by the dock? What are we 11?" I say dramatically "Sounds fun, I haven't done that since you left, come on lets go."

"For a second there I thought you were going to throw spit balls at me."

"Well maybe I will just to mess with you." We walk in silence for a bit until I see Arnold running towards the dock

"Last one at the dock is a rotten egg." He yells

Oh hell no! Game on sucker, no one challenges Helga G. Pataki or my fists aren't named Ol'Betsy and The Five Avengers. I hate to admit it but I'm very competitive.

"You're on geek-bait!" I yell back sprinting as fast as I can.

We might have changed physically but sometimes we have the same mentality as we did back in grade school. I keep running, surpassing Arnold, and with my last bit of adrenaline I get to the dock first.

"Haha" I exhale and inhale like a maniac "I beat you sucker." I say to Arnold who is passed out on the dock from exhaustion

"Even with my head start, you're still faster than me! No fair, I think you cheated." Arnold says while panting really hard

"The only one who cheated was you Football Head!" I chimed making my victory known "You had a head start, and I still beat you!"

We lay down for a bit in silence, it's not like an awkward silence where you feel uncomfortable. It's more like a peaceful silence, where you feel comfortable with each other.

"So Helga, how come you never wrote me back? I sent you a letter a month sometimes 2 for five years, why did you never reply?" He says breaking the silence; somehow I knew he was going to say that. I don't blame him but I'm not really sure what to say. I myself don't know the exact reason for my lack of responses.

"Well I don't know, maybe it was the same reason I didn't go say good-bye at the airport. I never really hated you even though it seemed like I did. You were pretty ok, my reasons might sound bizarre to you but maybe in time you will understand." I get up from the dock and start to skip some rocks "For the record I did write to you." I hear Arnold get up from the floor and throws rocks next to me.

"Well you only wrote back once after 4 years and 11 months of no reply." He stops throwing rocks and turn around directly facing me. "I was right you know; deep down you are a good person. I knew you never hated me, why did you always pick on me though?" Did he really just say that? My was he dense! I can feel the bully coming out but I managed to hold my grip and take a deep breath. What the hell am I supposed to say to that; anyone with brains would have figured that out.

"I though you would have figured that out by now loser, you are still as dense as ever!" I look at him in the eyes and sort of melt a little inside, his emerald eyes still make me all mushy and make my knees weak. "If you haven't figured it out, then I guess I will never tell." I say playfully

We keep throwing rocks for a little bit, I can sense Arnold confusion and it just humors me.

**[Arnold]**

What does she mean 'I would have figured that out'? Why are girls so confusing, especially Helga, she is just different from anyone else I have meet.

After moments of silence, filled with confusion, I decide to break the silence along with a fortress she always has up.

"So how is your home life?" I say, a little worried as to how she will respond

"Well it got worse, my dad is barely home, Miriam is passed out from all her 'smoothies', and Olga is just peachy in Alaska with her douchbag of a husband with a baby in the oven. I have two jobs because I need to keep myself busy, otherwise I would have killed myself from staying at home." She says with anger in her eyes

"Have you tried talking to your parents and letting them know how you feel."

"Actually yeah I have, 367 times since I was 9. I gave up, they don't listen to me it's like I 'am not even there kid." Helga whispers

**[Helga]**

I have tried way too many times to get their attention and it always ends up bad.

The pain of the flashback is too strong as a silent tear falls from my left eye.

"_Dad, can I talk to you?" I say as I have said the last 366 times I tried talking to my parents _

"_What do you want Olga?" Big Bob says not looking up from the television _

"_It's Helga dad, and I just wanted to talk to you about something that has been bothering me since…. Well since forever." _

"_Go talk to Miriam I 'am busy." He speaks loudly _

"_That's actually one of the things I need to talk to you about. Don't you think mom needs help, I'm not 9 years old dad I know mom has a problem. She is an alcoholic and I want her to overcome it." _

"_Just because she enjoys a few smoothies once in a while, that doesn't make her an alcoholic, got that little lady." Bob says with authority _

"_No dad, first of all mom is an ACOHOLIC, and second I'm tired of you not calling me by Olga's name, it's Helga! Crimeny I have always been in the shadow of Olga, I'm sorry I can never live up to her standards but dad I'm your daughter too. Is it so hard to show it once in a while?" I start to shout and I feel the Pataki inside of me scream _

"_Well maybe if you acted more like Olga I would notice you more. By your age Olga was a professional pianist, an excellent musician, the top of her class, she won every spelling bee and geography in town, and she got in to every college with full scholarship. You Helga I don't even know what to say about you, because you're nothing like your sister. Now, is it so hard to be a quarter of what Olga is? When you start acting more like her, then maybe I will start to see you more like a daughter then an accident."_

_Am I really that worthless in his eyes! I stare blankly at him not believing what I was hearing. _

"_Are we done talking? I 'am watching my soap and I would appreciate it if you left me alone." He says, again not even looking at me and just staring into the fucking television. _

"_Yeah, trust me it's the last time I bother you dad, I'm sorry." I sprint towards my room and grab my pocket knife_

_I stare at its rusty blade, forgetting to switch blades. I grab the knife as I pull the stairs from my closet that leads to the small attic space. I already have my, now brownish towels, that use to be white and slowly slide the blade of the knife into wrist. I cut deeper and deeper until a slowly feel nothing, I stare at the two deep cuts I inflicted. _

"_Shit" I cuss _

_I cut to deep; I do the deep cuts on my thighs so people don't start to talk. How the hell am I going to cover these? _

"_Shit, Shit, Shit!" I keep cussing _

_I quickly grab my towel and wrap it around my wrist, after a moment I slowly drift off into a dreamless sleep I often acquire after cutting. _

I regain my focus and wipe my tear with the back of my hand

"Are you ok?" Arnold says with a worried look on his face

I quickly cover my scars on my wrist unconsciously and take a deep breath.

"Yeah I 'am fine now, just a minor flashback." I say with a smile I force to put on

"Helga I know we haven't been the best of friends but I would really like to help you and be there for you whenever you need someone to talk to."

"Thanks for the offer but I'm done with my pity parties." I say kicking myself in the ass, of course I want to tell him but I don't want him to know what I do.

"Why are you always doing that?" I hear Arnold say with a husky voice

"Doing what?" I say ignorantly knowing exactly what he is referring to

"That! You are always pushing people away whenever they try to help you, I know that you think you are strong but you really need the help more than anyone else. Deep down you want to be helped by others, but you don't want to look like a maiden in need. It's ok to receive help once in a while! How many times have you helped me in the past despite your insults and pranks? Now I want to help you but you're making it really difficult to do." Arnold speaks with a firm tone and confidence

There are so many reasons why, my love. I start to feel tears cascading down my face, hating myself for letting them go. I turn around so I could wipe the evidence.

I sit down on the dock with my legs hanging off the edge not knowing exactly what to say. I can feel Arnold sitting next to me and just looking at me with tenderness. He wipes the tears from my face and hugs me tightly; I freeze for a moment and remembering the many times a fantasied for this moment. I loosen up and hug him around the waist and just letting my tears go. After a moment I pull away not wanting to let him go ever.

"Thanks." I say awkwardly

"For what?"

"For always being nice to me, even though I was a complete bitch to you, I don't deserve your sympathy." I whispered

"I don't mind; I knew deep down you were a good person, and talking to you right now only proves me right."

"Let's not get all sentimental now; I have an image to take care of." I say with a smirk on my face.

"What image? I though you said you don't bully anymore."

"It may be true that Old' Betsy and the Five Avengers are in retirement now, but having a bad reputation comes in handy. People know not to mess with Helga G. Pataki!"

"Whatever you say, Helga." Arnold says, trying to hold in his laughter

We both sit there until sunset talking about his life in San Lorenzo, what college we're applying to and just life in general. It was nice having someone else to talk to about nothing and everything; I mean I love Phoebe and Sid but Arnold just makes me feel what now one else can make me feel!

"I love coming here when I need to be alone, the way the sun goes down and just gives the sky a fiery glow….it's I don't know, it's just so beautiful." I say speaking more to myself

"You're right; this is the first time I have actually seen the sunset from here. I should come here more often."

"Well not too often Football Head, this is my personal getaway!" I say making myself sound serious but failing at it since my goofy as smile won't go away

"I'll try not to; do you want to go get some ice cream?" Arnold says while getting up and extending his arm to help me get up

I hesitate for a moment but take his hand; he pulls me up graciously while I stumble upon my feet…

CRUSH

I fall down on top of him, I get tense as I realize the position we're in. He's holding on to my waist while a balance myself holding onto his shirt. For a moment we both freeze, not knowing what to do, I stare deeply into his green eyes and I get lost into my own little world.

**[Arnold]**

Her eyes, there so beautiful, I can stare into those beautiful azure diamond for hours. They are filled with pain, passion, love and hate. I want to help her with whatever she is trying to hide from me, if only she can tell me straight front.

I want to hug her tight and tell her it's alright, but before I say or do anything else she pulls away and gets up fast brushing her shirt from the dirt.

"Sorry Football Head, sometimes I just get so clumsy I feel like Eugene sometimes." She says while laughing,

I laugh with her since her laughter is contagious but it's beautiful at the same time.

"It's ok Helga, I think we all have our Eugene moments from time to time." I say still laughing "So about the ice cream, do you want to stop by for some?"

"I would love to, but I have to go home and cook dinner since Miriam is probably passed out on the couch again." She says bitterly with a frown forming on her face

"Well give me your cell phone number and you can text me whenever you're free." I say trying to lighten the mood, it seems to have worked because as fast as the frown came it went away and replacing it with a warm smile.

We exchange numbers and we silently walk towards her house; it's a rather silent walk but I don't mind, Helga doesn't seem to mind either. Most girls that I know usually try to fill the silence with non-sense. It's nice actually getting to know the real Helga after so many years of wondering what she really is like, I might actually get a chance to figure her out.

"Well this is my house Football Head." We stop as we stand just inches away from each other. "I'll see you tomorrow in school." She waves at me and I wave back as I see her gently close the door.

As I'm leaving I hear Big Bob screaming, and Helga shouting back. It's as if a bomb went off in the Pataki's residence, I hear a plate fall and other things being thrown. I'm so shocked by what I'm hearing:

"_You were supposed to be home an hour ago, Where the hell were you?" Bib Bob shouts _

"_I had journalism after school, which made me miss the bus. Maybe if you paid attention to me once in a while, you would know what I 'am up to!" I can hear Helga raising her voice Helga _

"_I don't care what you do after school, you little spoiled brat! I have told you to always be home before I get here. I expected dinner to be ready by now. You know Miriam is not a reliable person and you are supposed to take care of the house." _

"_I have other things to take care of, I have to go to school and work two jobs! It gets overwhelming when I have to do everything around the house!" _

"_I work and pay the bills young lady!" Big Bob fury is engraved in his tone, I can hear him throwing things and smashing a porcelain plate on the table._

"_What the hell dad!"_

"_Now clean everything up, and wash up Miriam. I 'am going upstairs and I will leave in 5 minutes since you decided not to make dinner. I'll be out late, so don't wait for me Olga."_

"_It's Helga dad." I can barely hear Helga saying that _

"_I have told you this many time HELGA, when you act more like your sister maybe I will make an effort to not mix your name." Big Bob says while heading upstairs _

I just stand there like idiot. What am I supposed to do? With nothing coming up in my brain I knock on the door almost on instinct. I stand there for a few seconds and I see the door knob slowly turning

"Arnold?" Helga says in shock

"Is everything ok? I was passing by and I heard screaming." I say choosing my words carefully noticing how Helga's eyes have become wet

"Yes Arnold, everything is ok." She stutters and begins to close the door. I put my feet between the door and the frame

"If you need me with anything you have my number, Helga please don't hesitate to call."

"I will Arnold, thank you for your concern. If you can please excuse me I have a lot of things to take care of right now. I'll see you in school tomorrow." She closes the door not waiting for me to say anything else.

I stand there for a moment while I hear the muffling cries of Helga. In an instant I know what to do; I grab my cell phone while I'm walking home towards my house and find the name I'm looking for. I dial it and I wait for the phone to pick up, it seems like the ringing has been going on forever, while in reality it's only been a few seconds.

"Hey Arnold, what's up?" I hear the other person saying

"Sid, meet me at my house as soon as possible, It's urgent!" I say with a shaky voice

"Wow calm down bro. What's going on?"

"It's about Helga."

"Is she ok? What happened?" I can tell he's worried by the way he said it

"I don't really know, I know you and her are really close and I think she really needs someone to talk to."

"Dude I'm on my way to your house you can explain it there, I'll be there in like five." Sid hangs up and I start running towards my house hoping to get there before him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Omg! Poor Helga, I feel bad for her. Now before yawl start to hate me, everything turns out fine for everybody! Including Sid for you Sid&Helga lovers. In the future when I'm done with this story I will do a Sid&Helga fanfic. I know I have a lot of mistakes with grammar, just know I have always been terrible with that. English is my second language so it's harder for me trying to get the right grammar (Mostly because I was a trouble maker in my youth and barely did any school work, but somehow managed to get grades good enough to pass. Now I'm paying the consequences for not paying attention in school)**

**So kids, go to school and learn your grammar so you don't look like an idiot like me! If someone wants to be my editor that would be awesome!**

**Anyways enough about me, the next chapter will be intense!**

**I don't want to spoil anything, but someone will be sent to the hospital!**

**As always please Review my loves :**D


	6. The Truth Comes To Light

**Chapter 6**

****Well I'm alive! Sorry for the long update but I started school and that takes away a big portion of my time. Plus I had a hard time writing this chapter, I thought I had an outlined planned in my head but for some reason things change and now I'm stuck as to where I want this story to go. Don't worry because I will figure it out, I try to be as realistic as possible because I'm a very realistic person and that's pretty much it. I will stop my blabbering and let you enjoy this chapter. As always please review I always feel encourage to write my butt off.****

**[Sid]**

I hang up the phone and rush towards Arnold's house; luckily I was only a few blocks away.

Arnold and I get there at the same time, I look at him in confusion and I start to worry about Helga.

"Dude what happened? Is Helga ok?" I start to raise my voice in pure worriedness

Arnold quickly explained everything to me and as soon as he finished I knew what Helga would do after fights with Big Bob.

"Shit! Damn it, fuck, fuck, fuck!" I keep cursing "This is not good, Arnold we have to go to her house right now." I start to sprint towards Helga's house and pray, to whoever is up there, that she hasn't cut to deep. I have a bad feeling about it; this might be her breaking point, after so many fights she's finally crumbling down.

"Sid, what do you know that I don't know?" Arnold exclaimed trying to keep up with me

"I can't tell you Arnold. Let's just say that instead of bullying she does other things to cope with her life at home." I say trying to not give anything away

We finally get to the Pataki's residence and I knock on the door loudly

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

No answer, I try again

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

Still no answer, I try not to panic and reject all the images that start to form in my head.

"Maybe Helga left." Arnold said trying to compose his posture

"No, she's still here, I know it." I turn the knob from the unlocked door and I look at the mess in the kitchen.

"Fuck!" I cuss again

I run towards the living room and see Miriam passed out on the couch, I start to call Helga's name.

"Helga, are you here, it's Sid." I yell from the hallway

No answer, I start to really worry this time.

"Sid, what is going on, why do you looked so freaked out?" Arnold says with a more worried sound

I begin to contemplate whether I should tell Arnold…. I stay silent hoping that maybe Helga actually left the house.

I start to run towards Helga's room

"Helga, are you here? Come on talk to me, it's Sid." I say while opening the door

Nothing, I begin to get a cold sweat. I see the closet door open and I slowly look inside.

I should have said something, when I had the chance. It's all my fault that Helga is passed out in her closet.

I freeze, all the blood on the floor… there's so much blood.

Arnold stands next to me and suddenly stiffens from the sight. I finally step out of my coma like state and grab my cell phone. I dial the numbers that I wish I would never get to dial.

9-1-1

It rings once and on the second ring

"_Hello 9-1-1 operation, what's your emergency?"_ The person says

"I need an ambulance fast, someone is hurt and she lost a lot of blood?" I say desperately

"Can I get the address please?"

"807 Penny Lane, Hillwood."

"We will be there as soon as we can."

I hang out the phone and run towards the bathroom for some towels

"Arnold, snap out of it and help me!" I say desperately trying to knock Arnold confused daze will I wrap the towel around Helga's wrist and thighs.

"Sid, did you know about this?" Arnold says a little angry

"About what?" I say trying to sound like I didn't know what he was talking about

"What do you mean about what? About this!" He points towards Helga's wrist and blood. "The cutting? Did you know about it?" He said with even more anger than before.

"Yes I did Arnold." I say bitterly, I know that he is judging me by the way he is looking at me. Who is he to judge me at all! He doesn't know what goes around Helga's life.

"Why didn't you tell anyone? Did you ever think about her safety?" He yells

"For your information, I did. I thought about it every day, and it always killed me because I couldn't be that person to glue her back together!" If only you knew that you were the only that could put her back together again. I hate him for not knowing that Helga has always loved him!

"You could have always tried, you shouldn't have given up!"

"When are you going to stop looking on the bright side, Arnold? Not everyone can be helped; Helga's life has never been bright! She has always lived in the shadows of her sister."

Were silent for a moment; while I see Arnold, trying to find the right words to use. He just drops his shoulders, defeated by the lack of words

"Well somebody has too." He said, as he has said way too many times in the past. We might be friends but it took every effort for me not to punch this idiot. I finally hear the sirens and I go downstairs to guide the paramedics towards Helga's body.

From that point on, everything became a blur

They carried Helga's body while asking a few questions to Miriam. She is a lousy mother, as much as I hate to admit it, but it's true. Who gives shaving cream, a packet of crackers, and moist towls to their 9 year old for lunch?

Miriam goes in the ambulance with Helga, as she slowly cries realizing what is happening.

Maybe this time, they will all come around, and realize that Helga needs her parents. I punch the wall in pure hatred towards the way her parents have always neglected her. Sure she might not be perfect, but no one is!

"What do we do now?" Arnold says utterly confused

"You go home and I'll go see Helga; she doesn't know, that you know, about her cutting." I say firmly

"Maybe I can help her in some way?" He speaks to himself

"I'm sure you can help her, but right now is not the time. I need to talk to her first."

"You know it's in my nature to help people Sid, I can't just walk away."

"Arnold, she is not another one of your heroic missions that you feel the need to fix. In case you didn't know this, but she has been hurt ever since we were young; we were just too blind to see it. All she ever wanted was to feel loved; I tried… trust me I did, I just wasn't the right one for her. As for her family, how would you feel if your parents keep telling you to be more like your sibling, because you as a person weren't good enough for their standards? She has a hard life Arnold, she builds walls around her thinking she's strong enough to face her problems by herself." I yell at him, holding back the tears from my eyes.

"I don't know what to say." Arnold says defeated

"There's nothing to say, I'm going to the hospital. If you want to come that's fine by me, just make sure she doesn't know that you know about her…" I hesitate trying to find the right words to use. "about her cutting problem."

We walk silently towards the bus stop, waiting for bus 308 towards Hillwood Hines Hospital. The journey there was relatively quiet; it was mostly filled with Arnold's buzzing question.

"How long has she been cutting?"

"When did she start?"

"How did you find out about it?"

"Why didn't she say anything to her sister?"

My god was he starting to piss me off! I completely explode, shouting at him the answers.

"She's been cutting for a while, she started two years after you left to San Lorenzo, and she wouldn't ask Olga's help even if she was being tortured!" I scream angrily "As to how I found out about it, it's quite a long story."

"We have time, so spill Sid." I hear Arnold's curiosity,

"Well if you insist." I say sarcastically "In case you didn't know, Helga and me dated for some time during our 5 months together we were… well you know, doing what teens do. I saw her scars on her thighs; it was the saddest thing I have seen, seeing her hate herself so much to do that, it just tore my heart. When she saw that I was looking at her scars, she became that same bully from 4th grade, I ignored it and she just broke down crying. That was the day she told me everything." I remember that painful memory of her falling to pieces like it was yesterday.

"Oh" was all that Arnold could managed to say

Silence was settled over and we just sat until our stop came. We walk for a few minutes until we go to the main entrance of the hospital.

"Excuse me; we're here to visit a patient." I look at the young receptionist, clearly it must be her first job by the way she looks around for stuff.

"What's the patient's last name?" The red headed receptionist finally asked

"Pataki"

"Helga G. Pataki?"

"Yes."

"She's in the 5th floor, room 254. If you go towards the east wing, there is an elevator at your right. It will take you directly to the receptionist there."

"Thanks" I say in unison with Arnold

We pick up our pace, almost as if we were running; we see the elevator on our right and hit the 5th floor button. As we walk out the elevator the receptionist is right there.

The black haired receptionist looked up "Hello, what can I help you with?" She says in a very perky way

Arnold takes over now and speaks first, "We're here to see a patient, Helga G. Pataki."

"Are you family?"

"No we're friends."

"You're going to have to wait in the waiting room."

"Ok, thank you." I finally manage to say

Arnold and I head to the waiting room as I see Miriam crying quietly to herself, I walk over to her.

"How is Helga Mrs. Pataki?

"Oh Sid I'm such a terrible mother! I don't know why she did it; if I would have paid more attention to her maybe I could have done something." She keeps crying quietly in her hands "She knew I had a problem with drinking, but I just swept it under the rug. I didn't want to admit to myself that I was an alcoholic."

"Well maybe this is the turning point for everyone." I look around the room not knowing what else to say, I was never good at comforting people so I just sit next to Arnold as we wait until we're called

After a long minute of silence Arnold begins to talk.

"So." He says

I give him a look of questionable concern.

"So why did you and Helga break up?

"Well there were a lot of factors that were involved." I say trying to figure else what else to say, knowing he wasn't going to be happy with my response

"Like what?"

I wanted to tell him everything so he would know the truth and maybe break the denseness in his large football head of his, but I couldn't because Helga has to tell him or he has to figure it out himself.

"Well for starters Helga didn't love me, I loved her but she didn't have those feeling for me. She hated herself for breaking up with me but you can't make someone love you. I told her I didn't hate her but if she wanted we could still be friends. Her heart was already taken by someone that didn't return those feeling, she tried to forget about him but she just couldn't."

"Who does she love?" Arnold finally manages to say

**A/N**

**Apocalypticism if your reading this I will contact you through your beta profile when I start writing chapter 7 to see if we can arrange something. **

**Anyways I hope you all liked this chapter! **


	7. Broken Beyond Repair

**Chapter 7**

**[Helga]**

Holy shit, my body burns. I must have over slept; I rub the side of my temples and slowly open my eyes.

Everything is blurry at first but then everything becomes clearer and more focused in. The room is so bright and small; I can feel the walls slowly closing in and my breathing starts to quicken. I start to pull out all the needles that are running through my arms, I begin to freak out because I feel so disoriented and lost. The machines go haywire, their buzzing noises ringing inside my head while growing louder and louder. Nurses telling me to stay calm start to flow into the room

"What's going on? Why am I here?" I demand, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Loss of blood," a nurse firmly states as all the nurses start to needle me up again and the sound of my heart begins to settle to a subtle beep...beep...beep.

I fall against my pillow trying to make sense of the events that just took place, the last thing I remember was being in my closet and then after that I blacked out. What I don't understand is how the hell I got here!

Miriam was knocked out on the couch and Bob had left before I went to my room; I feel terrible, I probably look worse.

**[Sid]**

"Who does she love?" he repeats at my lack of response

"It doesn't matter," I finally say, and before Arnold gets the chance to respond some Dr. comes in and calls our names

"Sid and Arnold, if you want you can see your friend now. She seems a bit disoriented but she's stable now." We both get up at the same time.

"Arnold, you stay here."

"Why?" he says stubbornly

"Arnold, did you not listen to me when we were on the bus? She doesn't know that you know; just let me talk to her first."

"Fine," he finally manages to say

I walk towards Helga's room, as the smell of the hospital fills my nostrils. I have never been in a hospital but it smells abnormal, the walls and floors are too bright and are blinding my eyes, I finally turn the corner and stand in front of the door.

I don't bother to knock, I just walk in.

"Helga," I say, fearing for her reaction

She turns around in shock, obviously not expecting me

"Sid, I'm so happy you're here," her voice cracks but she manages a small smile

"Why didn't you call me?" I sit on the small couch next to the bed

"I didn't want you to worry, I just needed..." I cut her off before she finishes what she was going to say

"You needed that relief," I state, "I know. Promise me now, that you will never cut again."

"I'm sorry Sid; I know I should have called you. I was just so sick and tired and I was feed up with Bob's crap."

"I know you are, but you have to promise me, Helga. I was so scared when I found you lying on the ground barely breathing. For a second I thought…well it doesn't matter now, just promise me, ok?"

"Sid, you found me?" she stutters

"Yeah, Arnold called me because he overheard you and Bob fighting. He was worried about you so he called me, that's when I ran to your house. The door was open; I was calling for your name but no answer. That's when I knew that you were in way too deep, I found you in your closet covered in blood."

"Does Arnold know?" she says with tears in her eyes not wanting to know the truth.

"Yes," I whisper, not wanting to tell her the truth.

"No, no, no, stop lying. Please tell me your joking Sid. I can't have him know what I do, he probably hates me now." She cries into her hands, burying her face deeper and deeper only hear her stifled crying.

"He doesn't know everything, you need to talk to him, and for the record he was really worried about you. He's in the waiting room, I think you should talk to him, but if you don't want to, I can tell him to come back tomorrow."

"Sid, of course he doesn't know everything. He's so dense I want to slap that football head of his, his denseness pisses me off sometimes… and yet my heart still aches for him." I can feel the pain and sorrow in her soul, her despair at knowing Arnold might not love her the way she wants to be loved. "Why do I have to love him so much?" More silent tears roll down her face, clearly understanding her agony, as that agony is the same pain I feel when I see her every day.

"Because we can't pick who we fall in love with, we just do. It's painful but it's also beautiful, it's the closest thing we have to magic; we might not live in fairy tales, that's why we need to treasure those moments that feel like them."

"And you say you're not a poet," she smirks at my remark

"And you say you're not nice," I responded back

"Touché."

"Seriously though, do you want to see Arnold?"

She stays silent while contemplating the idea of seeing Arnold.

"Yes or no?" I ask again

"I'll take the bull by the horns," she nods her approval

"Do you want me to send him in?"

"If he still wants to see me, then let it be."

"Let it be then." I reply clearly knowing her reference of the Beatles' song Let it Be.

I navigate through the long corridors and narrow hallways towards my destination, the waiting room, where Arnold is sitting most likely trying to comfort Miriam. I walk past doctors and nurses with the same empty expression plastered on their faces, working in hospitals I would assume they would want that shell mask to cover up all the sadness that they witness every day.

I slowly turn the corner that leads straight to the small waiting room; where people are gathered around their families and trying to comfort each other. I see Arnold's messy blond hair that never wants to be tame going all over the place; slowly, I tap him on the shoulder.

He turns around, clearly taken by surprise.

"How is she doing?" he asks almost instantly

"She's doing alright, she was clearly disorientated. Overall, she is very stable at this moment and if you still want to see her, you can go see her."

**[Arnold]**

"Yes, of course I still want to see her."

"Then go before she changes her mind." Sid remarks back

I take a deep breath as I slowly walk towards Helga's room; I try to come up with something to say, something that will comfort her. I don't want to admit it, but deep down I know Helga still loves me. Unconsciously I have always known that, but I always shoved it further and further in from my mind.

I will admit Helga has changed in a lot of ways, I like that she shows the soft side of her that she always seemed to lock in a closet when we were younger. I now know why she was the way she was, it was because of the attention her parents failed to show. She was the only person I never actually helped emotionally; I should have put the pieces together and helped her. I'm very confused as of where my emotions for Helga stand, but I genuinely want to be there for her.

It seemed that I was walking for hours, but only minutes have passed. As I get closer and closer, I begin to feel my throat closing and my breathing gets heavier and heavier. Before I know it I'm standing in front of her door with my fist held a few inches away. I knock softly three times.

Knock… Knock… knock

No answer

When I gently open the door and walk in, I see Helga staring at the loud talking machines that seem to fill the room with loud, ear-shearing buzzing and beeping. I zone out all the noises except for one, I clearly hear her steady pulse through the machine heart monitor.

Dump… Dump… Dump… Dump

"Helga, how are you feeling?" I ask dumbly

Her long blond hair cascades over her face, covering half of it. She turns around with puffy eyes and sends me a weak smile.

"You know, same old, same old."

"Do you mind if I sit?" I point to the empty chair that is next to her bed

"Sure, whatever floats your boat."

I sit down on the empty chair; for a long moment while we stay silent until I break the moment "Helga can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why do you do it?" I ask trying to figure out how to choose my words carefully

She looks at me with a fiery passion that stares directly into my soul. She takes a few deep breaths and looks away.

"I do it because I hate my…" she pauses for a minute trying to figure out her next words. "Listen, I don't need to tell you my pity problems, football head, I can take care of them on my own."

"Helga, why do you always do that? I'm trying to help you, you don't need to get angry." I say firmly

She looks shocked by my outburst

"The reason I'm mad and angry all the time is because I have always had to take care of myself, my parents are never there for me. I had to grow up fast, instead of my mom taking care of me, I take care of her. My dad, ugh, don't even get me started; his pride and joy is Olga, the sweet and perfect older child. Everything I do is never good enough; I'm pretty much worthless to him. I might as well be gone and it wouldn't matter. So I'm sorry, Arnold, if I'm angry and bitter all the time, I don't bully because that was my escape, but now this," she uncovers her arms from the blanket to show me the scars that run all over her arms. "This is my escape, it takes all my emotional pain that builds up in me and turns it into physical pain for a short time. I would rather feel pain in my body than my heart. To me, it's a small price to pay just to get a few minutes of peace." She quickly wipes the tears that managed to escape her eyes with the back of her palm.

I knew her dad was hard on her, and her mom was an alcoholic, but I never knew how miserable she felt. This explains so much, if only I knew this when we were younger, things would have probably been better for her.

"Helga, I'm so sorry, I never knew how much you hated your home life," That was all I managed to say

"Don't be, I lived in hell for 17 years, I can manage two more years until I have the money to move out and go far away."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Arnold I know it's in your nature to patch people up and fix them, but I'm so broken up and torn apart that I'm lost beyond repair."

I stay silent for a moment, not knowing how to answer to that, but with enough courage, I find my voice and manage to speak "I don't care, I still want to be there for you," I say, trying to convince her.

"Football head, as much as I want you to help me, I don't know if you would do more harm than good." Puzzled by her remark, I'm confused on what to say.

"I don't think I know what you mean?"

"Never mind, it doesn't matter anyway. I'm tired; we can talk more tomorrow. If you want, you don't have to."

"Ok, I'll be here tomorrow after school. When are they going to send you home?"

"I don't know, maybe tomorrow night. If I leave earlier I'll tell Sid to tell you."

"Why don't you just give me your number?"

"We can do that," she replies

We exchange number and I wave as a sign of good-bye and slowly close the door.

**A/N**

**Well I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, just a warning-I will take forever to post new chapters, mainly because I have school and I have a social life. Don't worry though if I can I will try to post them up as soon as possible. I would like to thank Apocalypticism for being my Beta reader, she is awesome! She clearly made this chapter so much better. As always please review, thank you for reading my story! Oh and one more thing, if anyone is interested in helping me come up with title names for my chapters that would be great, because I'm terrible with coming up with titles. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**[Helga]**

Damn, it feels like time is going by extra slow. Where the hell are my parent's? So much has happened that I have no idea where my thoughts are. Arnold is back from San Lorenzo, I almost died due to blood loss, Sid found me in my closet, and yet I somehow managed some time to flirt with Arnold and exchange numbers? What is wrong with me?

Buzz…. Buzz… Buzz

I turn around to find my phone on the table next to my bed, I slide the lock key and find a text from Arnold.

**Arnold: How are you feeling?**

Should I reply back right away or wait 3 minutes? If I only knew the girl rules that seem to be somehow imprinted in all girls' brain, except mine. I guess since the rules don't apply to me, I might as well reply now.

**Me: The same as 5 minutes ago when you left **

Now that I'm texting, I might as well call my best friend, it's about time I talk to her about my problems.

I look through my contacts in my phone until I stop at the name I want to call, and not wanting to chicken out I hit the dial button.

Ring… Ring… Ring

My throat starts to dry as the sound of each ring, gets louder and louder.

Ring… Ring… Ring

I'm about to give up when the person on the other line picks up.

"Hello?"

"Um, hi, Phoebe." I say, voice cracking because my throat is dry.

"Helga, what's wrong?" she says worriedly

"I'm afraid, I have been keeping things away from you, and I just want to come clean about it. You deserve to know, I mean you're my best friend and I should have told you a long time ago. I'm really sorry Pheebs." I spit out my words so fast that I need to draw a deep breath when I finish.

"It's ok, just calm down. Where are you right now? Are you at your house?"

"No, I hate to say this, but I wish I was. I'm actually at the hospital," I say in a whisper, trying to hold back my tears.

"WHAT? THE HOSPITAL? Are you ok? What's going on?" Phoebe screams through the phone.

"I'm at the Hillwood Hines Hospital, can you come visit me? I really need to talk to you in person."

"Yeah, I'm borrowing my mom's car; I'll be there in 10 minutes." The call ends, leaving me in the empty room by myself again.

"Ok Bye Phoebe." I say to myself

I zoom past the channels to kill the time until the door to the room just busts open. I see my petite friend in the doorway. Scared by what I have to say next, I smiled to let her know I'm fine.

"Hi Pheebs."

She comes running from the doorway and she embraces me in a warm hug. I hug her back tightly, not wanting to let go.

"I'm here for you, hon." Phoebe grabs my hand as she sits next to me on the bed. "Now tell me everything."

"Before I tell you everything, promise me you won't be mad at me," I say.

She stays silent for a few moments.

"Fine, I promise."

I begin to tell her everything, from the very first time I started cutting until my last. I even told her how Sid found out about it and the real reason we broke up. It was hard telling her all these things because, I like to show Phoebe that no matter what happens, I can always take care of myself. After I finish was done telling her everything, we stayed silent for a bit, with neither of us saying anything, only enjoying each others' company.

"Are you mad at me?" I say, breaking the silence

"Helga, of course not, I know your life has never been easy. I know the problems that go around with your dad. I knew there was another reason for you breaking up with Sid, but I just never thought about you hurting yourself. I'm sort of hurt, that you never told me about it," she says, melancholy.

"I hate myself for keeping it all to myself for all these years, but you have to understand that I didn't want you to worry. I'm so sorry, if I had the chance to go back and do it all over again, I would have told you. I mean, I wanted to tell you for so long, I just didn't know how."

I worry that I just lost my friend forever; she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I should have known Phoebe is too good of a friend for me. I don't deserve her friendship, and I never did. I let tears run down my face, not even bothering to wipe them off.

Too caught up with my own emotions, I don't even notice the tight, gripping hug from Phoebe.

"I know you're sorry, it's my fault too, you know. If I would have been a better friend, I would have known something was off. I was just too busy having a boyfriend that I completely neglected you. I promised myself I would never do that, but I did, and I'm really sorry, Helga."

Oh, Phoebe, always taking the blame for my mistakes, she really is the best. Phoebe apologizing was my breaking point and we both started to cry in each other's embrace.

"Phoebe, you don't need to apologize. It was my own stubborn fault for thinking I was strong to deal with my own problems; I mean I 'am a Pataki after all," I say, trying to relieve the tension.

"Let's just agree to disagree; I don't want to argue whose fault it was. I'm just glad you're ok; I don't know what I would do if anything major had happen to you."

For a while Phoebe and I just watch crappy t.v and eat gross hospital food. I'm glad we can just chill for hours without saying a word.

"Any cravings for 'ice cream?'" Phoebe says with a mischievous grin.

"What makes you say that? I haven't stalked him, or made shrines or poems. I'm done with that, I have a life, if anything, I try to ignore him. For the longest time, everything I did revolved around 'ice cream' and I don't want that." I look at my phone and see a text from Arnold. "But ever since he came back, it has been difficult to not crave' ice cream'."

"So you're not texting 'ice cream' then?"

"Me, text 'ice cream'? That is crazy talk Phoebe! Besides, what makes you think I have his number?"

"Besides the fact that you're smiling like an idiot after looking at your phone, I don't know, just a guess."

"I'm not smiling like an idiot." I bite my lip from smiling so much. "Ok, ok, you caught me. So what if I'm texting him, besides, HE is the one that asked for MY phone number."

"Stop biting your lip before you start to bleed, I know you're trying to hide that love struck smile. Why don't you tell him how you feel? I think he may start to have some feeling for you."

"Oh get real, Phoebe, I'm his old bully. Even if he did like me, he could never love me the way I love him. He might freak out and run off with Lila," I say Lila's name in disgust as I remember how much Arnold liked her before.

"Oh stop it; I see the way he looks at you, because I know he has a thing for you, he gets jealous when he sees you talking with Sid," Phoebe says

"What! No way, he knows me and Sid are friends. Why would he be jealous?" I say, shocked

"And you say Arnold is dense."

"Well, he is," I say defensively

Phoebe sticks her tongue at me as I start to throw my pillows at her. The pillow hits her face and knocks off her glasses; we both start to laugh hysterically. The door opens abruptly as Phoebe and I look to see who's at the door.

Who is he? I ask myself. Phoebe and I look at each other not, knowing who that is.

"Umm, who are you?" I ask

"Have I really changed that much?" the guy says

"Should I know you?" I stare at the tall and lean figure. He looks vaguely familiar but I'm not sure who he is. His shaggy blonde hair is in the way of his eyes, so I can't really see them. Looking at the way his face is framed, I can't really recall anyone who has such angular characteristics in such a perfect formation.

"Let's just say, you broke a few glasses of mine?" he says with great confidence

I think of a few kids with glasses that I would punch, but the only one that ever followed me around was…

"Brainy!" I say in realization

"What?" Phoebe finally manages to say "Brainy, you moved 5 years ago, what are you doing here?"

"It's a long story, do you mind if I talk to Helga for a minute?" Brainy says

Phoebe looks at me and I nod in approval.

"Sure, Brainy. Helga, I'll be in the cafeteria."

"Ok, thanks, Phoebe."

Phoebe closes the door and Brainy slowly walks across the room and sits in the chair where Phoebe sat.

"Hi Helga," Brainy says with a brilliant smile that brightens the room.

I try to speak, but no words come out. I take a deep breath, not believing all the crazy events that took place in such a short amount of time.

"Brainy, you moved out of state, what are you doing here? How did you even know where I was?" I rushed the words out of my mouth, unsure if he caught all that.

"As you know, I moved out of state because of my dad's job, but we recently came back because they moved him back home. So, for the last five years, I have been in living in Chicago, and now know we moved back here again."

"I can see that, but what are you doing here, here?" I say, utterly confused

"I went to your house to see you; I knocked a few times, but there was no answer, so I went around asking people who might know where you are. I was scared because for a second I thought you moved away. That was when I stopped by the park and saw Sid. We were talking and catching up when he told me where you were. So here I am. He doesn't know I'm here, though."

"Wow, Brainy, I'm flattered that you would go through all this trouble just to find me. But I just have one question, why?"

"You seem so shocked, it kind of hurts," Brainy says teasingly. "Well to answer your question, I never forgot about you. You were always on my mind. Distance never made me forget, and now that I'm back and have the confidence I never thought I would have, I'll tell you why; I would like to be your friend."

I'm shocked at what he just said. I knew Brainy had a crush on me, but I never knew it was the same kind of love I feel towards Arnold.

"I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything and just let me be your friend."

I sort of nod like an idiot because I'm speechless; everything seems sort of funny in a not funny way, if that makes any sense.

Brainy and I exchange numbers, and with that, he left. He gave only a wave of goodbye and out he went.

Just when my life has been turned upside down, we add my confusing love life into the equation. I love Arnold, and while Brainy and Sid are in love with me, but I don't love the guys that love me. To make things worse, I just have to love that one person that I can't have. Love sinks; I wish things weren't so complicated.

As if on perfect timing all three guys deicide to text me simultaneously.

**Arnold: Hope you feel better, I'll see you tomorrow. Good night Helga. **

**Sid: Hey, you're probably asleep right now so just text me in the morning. I'll swing by the hospital after school, night Helga. **

**Brainy: Hey beautiful, it was really nice seeing you after all these years. I'll come by tomorrow after settling in to our place. Get some sleep. **

Someone please kill me, I throw my phone across the bed as I hear Phoebe come in.

"I'm guessing things didn't go well?" Phoebe asks

"I have no idea Pheebs, just when my life becomes chaotic, karma decides to dump shit on me," I say in frustration. Phoebe looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "I might not be as dense as Arnold, but I know Sid still loves me and now that Brainy is back, I know he stills likes me. I, however, love neither but except the one who doesn't like me back."

"Wow, so what do you think is going to happen?" Phoebe asks in curiosity

"To tell you the truth, I have no idea. All three of them are going to come by tomorrow, hopefully at different times. I think I would just die if all of them came at the same time."

I hear Phoebe giggle so I give her a sharp look; she stops and straightens her glasses.

"I'm sorry, but I think it would be hilarious if they all came here to see you, just imagine how awkward things would get."

"Thanks for your moral support Phoebe," I say, trying not to laugh.

"No problem," Phoebe says with a wink

"Whatever, anyways you should probably get going, Phoebe, it's almost 11:30 and you still have school tomorrow." Phoebe widens her eyes in surprised

"Oh, my God, you're right, it's getting late. I should be home by know." Phoebe hugs me tightly. "Bye Helga, I'll come by tomorrow after school and enjoy the awkward silence with the boys."

"Shut up," I yell as Phoebe closes the door behind her.

I let my eyes close as I realize how tired my body feels when I hear a small knock on my door

The hell, visiting hours are over, can I just get some sleep? Crimeny! "Come in," I say, half asleep

"Helga, how are you feeling?" my vision becomes clearer, allowing me to see who's at the end of my bed. It's Dad.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" I say as I rub my eyes

"I just wanted to see how you were doing?"

"I feel better, but my body just feels sore and tired."

Out of nowhere, Bob hugs me in a tight embrace, I stiffen at the sign of affection.

"I'm a monster; I never realized how much I was hurting you. I took my anger out on you without even realizing how much I was hurting you. I'm such a terrible father; I thought I was doing good by trying to get you to be like Olga. I'm so sorry, Helga, I pushed you and pushed you to be perfect, but all I did was harm you." He never let me go from the first warm embrace ever I had from my father. After all these years of being neglected, I don't know how to react to this show of affection, I'm must be going mad, because I start to cry.

Bob just hugs me tighter as I struggle to escape his arms; tears start to flow from my eyes as I curl up in a ball.

"Dad, I always though you hated me because I was never like Olga. I don't understand," I manage to say, gasping for air.

"I know I haven't been the best father, but I was so caught up with the business that I never really realized that you were in pain for all these years. I never grasped how much pressure I was putting on you; I hate myself more then you hate me right now." He starts to clear his throat. "I just wish I would have realized this earlier than now. I promise you, I will get help for my anger problems and I will be the father that you never had growing up."

We stay silent for a minute before I start speaking my mind, clearing the thoughts from my head.

"Dad, this is too much to take in right now. All my life I always felt like the unwanted child and I felt neglected and lonely all these years. I never felt like I truly belonged in the family, and now hearing everything you told me now, I don't know how to react. I think I just need a few minutes alone," I say, not wanting to look him in the eyes, for the fear that I might cry again.

"Take all the time you need, I will be outside."

I cry into my pillow because I don't want to be heard; so many things are going through my mind. I'm not sure if I was crying because I felt happy or angry. For so many years, I always wondered what it would be like to have an affectionate father, and now that he showed me that he could be the father I always needed, I feel angry that he never showed it to me before.

I have so many emotions in me that I'm not sure how to react. With all of the event's that took place in less than 8 hours my eye lids feel heavier and heavier by the second, I slowly close them and as I drift off to sleep.

**A/N**

**So much drama has been going on; I bet you didn't see Brainy coming in. You're probably thinking, where the hell I am going with all of this? Well I have no idea. There might be some crazy love triangle going on, or is it love square? Idk, then Bob is getting all affectionate towards Helga. Some of you are probably like Bob wouldn't do that, not after the way he treats Helga. Well he is a parent and sometimes major things have to happen in order for them to get a wakeup call. Things might be looking better for Helga but her life is only going to get more complicated! Also, thank you, to my beta reader(Apocalypticism). You are the best, as always please R&R.**

**And I want to thank darkangel1326 for helping me come up with titles for my chapters. She practically came up with the names I just sat there looking pretty. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**I had promised myself that I wasn't going to be one of those authors that take forever to post new chapters, but here I am posting super late. Unfortunately my beta reader will no longer be able to edit my story, she has other stuff going on which is totally fine. But In the mean time I will try to find another beta reader. Anyway I will stop my rambling and let yall enjoy the story.**

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><p><strong>[Sid] <strong>

**Helga: Hey Sid, I'm feeling so much better now. So much has happened since you left I don't know where to start. I'll just wait until you visit. **

**Me: Ok, I'll come right after school. I'll be there no later than 3:30**

Ever since yesterday I haven't been able to function right, for a second I thought I had lost Helga. There was so much blood, and she was so pale.

I sit on the edge of my bed with my head leaning down; somehow I manage to get up and get dressed for school. I grab my Led Zeppelin t-shirt, black jeans and black boots; I look at the clock and it's already 7:30. Fuck, I'm already running late. I grab a packet of pop tarts and my messenger bag as I sprint out the door; I'm running towards the bus stop when I see the bus slowly turning the corner at the stop. I keep running and shouting at the driver until he finally sees me and waits for me. I slide my bus pass and sit in an empty seat; I get off in front of the school but head to the old building. I check the time and it's already 8:10, I decided to skip my morning classes to meet up with my boys.

I walk through the alley making my way to the old building.

"Over here Sid." I turn around as I hear my name being called

"Hurry up man before someone sees you." I hear Harold shout.

"I'm coming, hold your horses." I yell as I start to climb up a tree to the roof of the building.

"So, where the hell where you yesterday man? I tried calling you but it sent me straight to voice mail." Stinky says

"Nothing, I got called in to work to cover for somebody." I lie

"Anyway, Harold, do you have the stuff?" Stinky says excitedly

"Do I ever disappoint my boys? Yeah I have it Stinky, so calm yourself."

"I have been waiting for weeks; it's been a while since we've had our dose." I say a little too blissful.

"I know, but this is not just any weed, it's 100% natural. Never again will I buy from Iggy again, his weed is brown, who knows what it has in it."

We roll our joint and light it up as we smoke it up.

"Damn, this some good shit!" I say already feeling sappy

"Gee wilikers, I'm smoking this joint extra slow today" Stinky says as he eats his burrito.

"Stinky do you always have to bring a burrito every time we smoke?" I say amused, for some reason he thinks it's the most delicious thing in the world when he's smoking weed.

Stinky just nods as he lies down on the roof smoking and eating at the same time.

"So Sid, what's the deal with you and Helga? You guys are always together, even though you guys broke it off." Harold says curiously

"We're just friends, besides she doesn't like me that way." I say as I lay down next to Stinky enjoying my joint.

"Whatever man, I know you still have feeling for her." Harold burps as he takes another smoke.

"Enough about me, what about you? You and Patty have been flirting with each other for years."

"I'm just trying to take it slow you know, I don't want to rush her. She's an older woman, I can't seem to eager." He says proudly of himself

"What the hell are you talking about bro? I think that football player is going to make a move on her, I hear she's tutoring him. You know like those special tutoring lessons after school." I say trying to prove my point. Patty had graduated high school two years ago and is currently interning in the tutoring center of our high school during the days she doesn't have class.

Harold just looks at me with horror. "Shit! You're right, here take this." He gives me what's left of his joint, as he gets off the roof onto the tree and climbs down. "If I don't make a move I will regret it for the rest of my life!" He yells as he's running towards the school.

"You crazy fool." I mutter to myself.

I finish the joint and wake up Stinky since he usually passes out after smoking and eating.

"Stinky, Stinky, Stinky." I keep saying in frustration as I finally kick him. "Stinky wake up!" I shout.

"What did I miss?" he says yawning.

"Not much, but we better get back to school it's almost lunch time."

We both jump of the roof as we slide down the tree.

"Man, I'm tired. What do you think the special for today is?" Stinky says.

"It might be Bosco Sticks day."

We keep walking toward the school and head inside to the cafeteria. As we enter I see Arnold coming towards us.

"Hey Sid, do you want to come to the hospital with me after school?"

"Gee the hospital? Why do you need to go to the hospital Arnold?" Stinky asks in confusion.

I hit Arnold on the stomach lightly as I give him the look of 'He doesn't know Helga is in the hospital so you better shut your mouth' look.

"Arnold and I are donating blood at the hospital for extra credit." I say convincingly.

"Yeah we need to, what he said, donate blood." Arnold says making it obvious that he's lying. Good thing Stinky is too high to notice so he just smiles like an idiot and nods.

"Good for you guys, doing your citizenship duties. I admire that, but if you can excuse me gentlemen I must get some Bosco Sticks." Stinky says practically running towards the line.

"Sorry, I didn't know." Arnold says embarrassed.

"It's fine you didn't know." I repeat, trying not to yell at him. "Did you want to go to the hospital right after school?" I ask.

"Is it fine with you?"

"Yeah, my last class is photography so I'll meet you in the parking lot. We can take the bus from there."

"I borrowed the car today, so I'll drive."

"Ok cool, I'll see you next class in bio then." I say as I walk towards the line and buy some fries.

The rest of the school day went relatively fast as I just wait for the final bell to ring. After about 3 solid minutes of torture, the final bell rings. I walk towards my locker to grab my stuff and head towards the parking lot. I see Arnold talking to Lila as I head my way towards them, Lila looks shocked by my sudden approach.

"Hey Sid, it's ever so nice to see you, how are you?" She says in her, ever so charming tone.

"Hey Lila, I'm good. How are you?"

"Well that is ever so pleasant to hear."

"Well it was nice to see you Lila." I say to her since I don't have any classes with her this semester. "Are you ready to go?" I ask Arnold

"Where are you guys going?"

"Arnold and I are donating blood at the hospital." I say before Arnold gets the chance to speak.

"Oh how nice. I love guys that are always helping out their community." Lila says as she pushes Arnold's hair back flirtatiously, he takes a step back towards his car in discomfort.

"Yeah well you know, somebody has to." Arnold says uncomfortably.

We get in Arnold's car as I see some yellow tulips.

"Are those for Helga?" I ask curiously

"Oh those, um yeah, I thought it would make her feel better." Says a blushed Arnold.

"Yeah I think she would love those, her favorite color is yellow." I say amused of his kind gesture.

We make small talk on our way to the hospital, Arnold parks the car in the west side of the hospital; it's a bit of a walk from the main entrance but I didn't mind.

As we sign-in to the receptionist we wait until we can go in, we're only there for a couple minutes before a nurse gives us the ok to go. We head to Helga's room not saying much, I open the door when I suddenly stop.

Since I left last night the room had been adorned with all kinds of flowers; roses, tulips, calla lilies, and a bunch of others that I don't know the name of. I look around the room again not noticing the person sitting next to Helga.

"Who are you?" Arnold says in shock.

"Brainy, what are you doing here?" I say just as surprised.

"BRAINY!" Arnold practically shouts.

"Hi guys, as you can see I moved back to Hillwood because of my dad's job and when I found out Helga was in the hospital I came and visited her." Brainy says calmly.

All three of us stay in place not knowing what to do or what to say.

"Umm hey Helga, how are you doing?" Arnold asks breaking the awkward silence.

"Hey, I'm doing a lot better. Thanks for visiting me, you didn't need to really." Helga replied.

"I know, but I wanted to." He says rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Oh and these are for you." He gives her yellow tulips.

"Arnold, these are beautiful, thank you. I love yellow." She says.

I clear my throat for a minute feeling weird about the scenery. "I burned you a disc from that band I was talking to you about, Locksley, they are amazing. They sound like a modern day Beatles, but they have their own sound." I hand her the Locksley CD, giving her a warm smile.

There's a knock on the door not knowing who else she's expecting.

"Come in." Helga says

"Hon, so I deci-"Phoebe started to say, but startled by everyone in the room. "Oh my," she giggles and covers hers mouth at Helga's smirk. "Hi guys, do you mind if I talk to Helga."

"Oh yeah" we all say in unison.

"Alone." She says after our lack of movement, so we all leave the room at her command.

We all walk towards the waiting room and awkwardly sit next to each other in dead silence.

**[Phoebe]**

As all the boys leave the room, I walk towards Helga who is already giving me her, "Don't you dare say anything" look.

I grab the stool at the end of the bed and place it next to her bed.

"So." I say trying to hold in my laughter

"Phoebe, don't you even dare to say I told you so." Helga gives me a sharp look.

"I'm sorry but that is just too comical." I say not bothering to hold in my laughter anymore. I start to laugh uncontrollably when Helga joins laughing too.

"Ok yeah I admit it, it's pretty funny." She manages to say in between her laughter.

We laugh for a good solid minute before we both calm down to quiet giggles.

"So what's on your mind?" I ask her.

"Well I have no idea, if anything I'm more confuse than ever."

"Ok then, what about 'ice cream'?"

"I have no idea Pheebs, as much as I want to be with Arnold, we both know I'm in no position to have a love life right now. I have spent way too many years thinking about Arnold, everything I ever did revolved around him. I just want to figure out myself first, I deserve that much."

Out of all the years I have known her, never have I heard her say what she deserves. As fragile as she looks now, she looks incredible strong, it's almost as if she has found some new wave of inner confidence in her.

"Hon, you have no idea how wise you sound right now. I completely agree with you on that."

"I surprised myself; I never knew I had it me. In order for me to be loved by someone else, I have to love myself first. For many years I would just look at the mirror and not even care for me, I wouldn't be here right now if I did."

I hug her tight, wishing she would have told me sooner. "I'm so happy for you right now, I knew you have always had problems but I never knew how to help you. I now know how I can help you."

"Ok Einstein, how are you going to help me?" Helga ask curiously

"Road trip!" I say in excitement.

Helga's eyes widen with excitement "I think that is excellent idea Phoebe."

"I will plan everything out, I'm so excited."

Helga was silent for a minute in deep though, after a few seconds she looks at me. "As great as that sounds, we still have school, we can't just skip school."

"I know I'm all about school but we won't die if we skip a week. I mean what sounds more appealing, school or road trip? Besides I can convince my mom to write a note for the school."

"Are you sure Phoebe?"

"Hon, you're my best friend. I would do anything for you." I give her a warm smile.

When I thought Helga was done surprising me, she pulls another surprise, she pulls me in for a tight griping Pataki hug. I hug her back as tightly as I can.

"Phoebe, you have no idea how lucky I'm to have a friend like you."

"Same here, now do you want me to get your boys for you?" I ask giving her a mischievous grin.

"Oh shut up you, bring them one at a time, it's going to be awkward if they all come at once."

"Bringing." I say as I shut the door behind me.

I walk towards the waiting room when I see Arnold, Sid, and Brainy sitting awkwardly next to each other. I can't help but to laugh at how incredible funny everything played out.

"Ok, one of you at a time can go see Helga, she is very tired and needs her beauty rest. So make it quick guys, Brainy you go first."

"Yes mam, since I was here longer I'll just say good bye. I will see you guys later, I parked my car on the opposite side. It was nice seeing you again Phoebe."

"Same here Brainy, see you later." He hugs me and handshakes the guys as he leaves towards Helga's room.

I sit in between Arnold and Sid to relieve some tension.

"Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?" Arnold asks suddenly.

"Sure." I say as Arnold gets up and walks across the room.

"Ok, so let's say, hypothetically, that I have developed some feelings for Helga. I just wanted to know, hypothetically, if she still has feeling for me?" Arnold says rubbing his neck.

"Wow, ok Arnold, you just went straight to it." I say giving him a teasing look. "Ok well hypothetically speaking, she still has feeling for you." I say as I see Arnold breath in relieve. "But, right now the last thing she needs is a complicated love life; she needs to figure out herself first. I know Helga has changed but she is still just as fragile as when we were kids. It doesn't take much for her to crumble down. She needs to be her own person without having someone pull her down."

Arnold stays silent for a minute, trying to think of what to say.

"Ok so what you are saying is that I should not ask her out on a date then?" He asks.

"If that's what you were planning on doing, then yeah. Also, wait until she manages to deal with her problems, it's not easy for her trying to deal with so many problems."

"Alright, but I can still be her friend right?" Arnold asks with a playful smirk on his face.

"Yes."

"Cool, I'm going to go see if Brainy is still at the room then." Arnold walks off before I manage to say anything else. I sit next to Sid as he gives me a quizzical look.

"Don't ask, it's too complicated right now. I just want Helga to get better without having to deal with boy trouble."

"Wasn't planning on it." Sid says as he sticks his tongue at me.

"Whatever frog boy." I say rolling my eyes at him.

"I can see you've been hanging around Helga too much, you're calling me names and before you know it you're going to be beating me up too." He says playfully

"Shove it Sid." I say amused.

**[Helga]**

"Thanks again Brainy."

"For what?" He says.

"You know, for everything. All these flowers, you didn't need to buy all them from Ms. Vitello's shop." I say.

"I didn't know which ones were your favorite, so I just bought all of them."

"I like anything that is yellow, it's my favorite color." I say as I hug Brainy good bye and he kisses my forehead.

He walks out of the room leaving me behind with my never ending thoughts. Out of all the years that I have known Brainy, never have I learned so much about him as I have today. His parents are loaded with money, he loves rock and indie music, his favorite food is Mexican, and apparently he is a big Bob Dylan fan. Talk about enlightenment.

I'm about to text Phoebe to let her know Brainy has just left, when Arnold knocks on the door.

"Hey, can I come in?" He asks

"Yeah, come on in. Mi casa su casa." I say in a very broken Spanish.

"I think it's, Mi casa es tu casa." He says giving me a wink.

"Whatever Arnoldo. You know I failed Spanish in grade school."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Your Spanish was terrible, you were better in French class."

"Il était excellent."

"Oiu!" He says

We talk for a little bit more when Sid comes in the door. "Am I interrupting something?" Sid says

"No, come on in." Arnold gets up and hugs me while he walks outside.

"How are you feeling Pataki?" Sid asks.

"Much better, I think I'm leaving today. I just want to go home and take a long shower and eat real food." I say. "Thanks for the CD; I'll listen to it when I get home."

"Yeah no problem, I just wanted to stop by to see how you were. I have to get home soon and finish a paper for history class though."

"Since when are you all interested in homework?" I say curiously

"Since, I realized that I actually wanted to do something with my life. I can't be a bum forever you know." He says playfully

"Yeah ok, anyways Phoebe and I are planning on a little road trip soon so just a heads up if you don't see me for a while." I say with joy

"Oh really now, and where to exactly?"

"I don't know, Phoebe is planning it. Besides I really need some time for myself, ever since Arnold came back all these old emotions have been building up and I want to be able to make my own choices without having them revolve around him. For the longest I had never been thinking for myself but for him, and I don't want that for me." I say feeling exhausted

"Hey, listen to me. I know you will always love him, but you are so right about figuring out who you are. Once you discover yourself, you will realize that you are worth so much more than what you give yourself credit for. Anyways I got to run, I'll text you later." He gives me a hug and a kiss on the check and slowly waves from the door.

With every passing minute, I'm looking forward to this road trip more and more. I like the idea of figuring out who I'm; it's almost like a mystery waiting to be solved. I deserve this, no scratch that I need that!

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><p><strong>AN**

**Ok so I know it might feel like the story is going slow, I apologize. I promise that the next chapter will skip a couple of weeks; I might go straight into the road trip. I'm trying to figure out where to go from there. Anyways I'm excited to write Helga's big epiphany. Please review, you guys have no idea how much my day is made by simple reviews :D **

**P.S- The band Locksley is a real band, and they are amazing I saw them last year in Chicago! Love them, go listen to them please :] **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**[Arnold]**

It's been a month since Helga got out of the hospital, everything between us has been good. I mean, it can be better, but my hormones are just messing with my brain. Every day I seem to develop deeper feelings for Helga, but apparently I'm not the only one.

I know Sid has lingering feelings for her, I notice the way he smiles and looks at her like she's the love of his life.

Since Brainy came back he seems to be following Helga everywhere, and Helga welcomes his presence, which gets me a tad jealous. Not only is Brainy on the top gossip news around the school, he also seems to be chased by almost every girl from our grade. I admit he has changed a lot from grade school, transforming from an ugly duckling to a swan is only an understatement. The guy looks like he came out of a Calvin Klein catalogue.

Then there is me, Arnold, the average looking kid with blonde hair and green eyes. I thought high school was supposed to be the golden years of our lives, Hollywood sure has that all wrong.

I walk down the hallway towards my locker as I keep day dreaming about what I'm going to do over the weekend as I see a small note hanging from my locker. I open it up and put my books away as I read the letter.

_Dear Arnold, _

_It's been a while since we actually had some time alone, and I was wondering if you could meet me outside the locker rooms from the north side, behind the theater before lunch. _

_Love _

_ Lila _

As I finish reading the letter, I wonder what Lila would want, I laugh at the irony of it. 7-8 years ago I would have been thrilled to receive a note from Lila, now I could care less. I don't mean it in a bad way but I don't have those butterfly feelings around Lila anymore.

I finish putting my last books away as I walk towards the small theater to meet up Lila when I see a familiar blond head going in the theater. I see Helga glancing around the theater making sure that no one is around; curiosity got the best of me as I wait for her to see what she does. She's walking around the stage as if she was trying to find something when she steps on a squeaky floorboard, she bends down to remove it and takes out a few books. Looking through the books she picks one up and looks through it. Looking up again to see if anybody is around she continues to flip through the pages when she stops.

I start to walk away when I hear her talk.

"_What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand. Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end: O churl! Drunk all, and left no friendly drop To help me after? I will kiss thy lips; Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, To make die with a restorative." _

I look at her in awe, as I see that she is a gifted actress. I clap my hands when she turns around shocked to see me.

"What the hell football head, you scared me!" she yells at me.

"Wow, you're really talented. You should try out for the fall play, I think they are doing Fools." I say

"That was last year geek-bait, this year the school is doing a musical. It happens to be one of my favorite musicals too, Sweeny Todd, I have been thinking about doing Mrs. Lovett actually."

"You are totally going to get it; I mean you were always one of the best actresses in P.S 118." I say back.

"Well of course I was, it's in my Pataki blood to excel at everything I'm good at. Anyways what are you doing here?"

"I was actually passing by when I saw you, and me being curious, I wanted to see what you were up to. Why are you here anyways?" I ask back

"Haven't you heard of, curiosity killed the cat?" she says raising her eyebrow "Anyways, to answer your question, I come here often. Two years ago I wondered in the theater by myself when I notice the floorboard was loose. I took the floorboard out and I discovered all these old plays and poems, it looks like they've been here forever. So, I like to come here and recite some poetry and plays." Helga answers, causing her to blush a little.

"You always did have cool getaway places; I might have to steal one of your many secret spots." I say flashing a smile.

"I don't think so Arnoldo, I claimed these spots."

"Well I don't see your name on them." I tease back.

"Actually they do, come follow me." I follow her a couple paces wondering what she's going to show me.

"Look, you see that." She kneels down dusting off some dust from the floor. She points to a blackbird carved into the floor.

"Yeah I see it, it's a bird, and it doesn't count because it's not your name."

She punches my arm as I raise my hand in defeat. "Ok, ok it's your spot you can have it."

"If you look at the dock where I took you, you will find one of those blackbirds." She stated

"What does the blackbird mean?" I ask curiously

"It doesn't mean anything." She says plainly.

"You're lying, I know it means something otherwise you might as well have drawn a duck."

"Ok, why does it matter to you then? It's a blackbird, that's all." She firmly repeats again.

"Because I'm curious, do you have any idea how much of a mystery you are to me? Everything you do always means something, I notice that even when we were kids. It's like you always had motives for everything you did or say. It's been killing me trying to figure you out Helga Pataki." I say, trying to convince her.

"Well, if you're so desperate in trying to solve my meaning behind the bird you could have just said so." She says jokingly

"Do I have to get on my knees too?" I say getting on my knees and begging like a child.

"Alright, alright I'll tell you, but please get up before you make an even bigger fool of yourself." She says laughing.

"Have you heard of the song Blackbird by The Beatles?" she asks more serious now.

"Um, yeah I have actually, very beautiful song. Sir Paul McCartney really is a genius." I say surprised that I actually know this.

"Well, that makes my story so much easier to tell. Anyways after one of many fights with Bob, I had ran to the dock, after a while I heard the song from one the boats pulling in. It was the first time that I actually paid attention to the lyrics and it just sort of hit me. It's hard to explain but I feel that in other life or universe, that song was written for me." She takes a deep breath before continuing "Yeah, weird I know, but maybe it's my way of coping with things."

"I'm sure that in another universe, you were the muse to Paul." I say trying to lighten the mood.

"Maybe I was the muse for all four Beatles, which would be epic." She takes out her phone to look at the time. "Oh my god, I'm late." She quickly gets up from the floor where we were sitting and shoves the books back in the space and covers it with the floorboard.

"Where are you going?" I ask

"I have a meeting for journalism during lunch, and now I'm late." She grabs her granola bar and swings her messenger bag over her head as she rushes to the hidden back door that leads to the girls locker room, clearly taking a short cut.

"Um bye." I say mostly to myself. After a few moments of confusion I remember that I was supposed to meet Lila outside the locker rooms. I walk towards the locker rooms when I open the door that leads to the outside side of the school.

"Hey, I was worried that you got lost, or that you didn't get my note." Lila says sitting down on the step.

"Yeah, sorry I was late but I ran into someone and I just lost track of time." I say rubbing the back of my neck. "Anyways what did you want to talk about?"

"Well I just wanted to talk about stuff and about your ever-so interesting time in San Lorenzo." She says, sitting closer to me.

"Well, there's not much else to tell. I think I covered everything when I arrived. What about you, you sure changed drastically since I left?" I say trying to change the subject

And she has changed drastically from her green dress to a Malibu Barbie outfit; I think Rhonda has had her hands on her wardrobe. I see Lila wearing jean shorts with rips under the pockets and a short black halter top revealing her belly button.

"I have changed a lot, I'm not all nice and sweet anymore, I realize that the world is harsh and people are cruel. I guess, I toughened up bit, but I still can't help but be nice to people. I have more confidence in me, which is what drove me to try out for the dance/cheerleading team. Other than that I'm pretty much the same Lila." She says batting her eyes in the most seductive way. I see her leaning in towards my face, but before I pull away I hear the door opening.

"Was I interrupting something?" I turn around to find Helga standing looking at Lila with a deadly glare.

"Yeah, you sort of did." I hear Lila say.

"Actually no, not really." I stand up and stand as far away from Lila as I can. "I thought you had your journalism meeting?" I ask before things get awkward.

"Cancelled, I could have gone to the cafeteria but I decided to skip it. I usually come here when I need to clear my head." Helga says irritated

"Is this another one of your many spots?" I ask

"I don't know football head, why don't you investigate?" She says challenging.

I start to look on the ground for a blackbird, when I stand up to face Helga in defeat. In an instant I see the familiar blackbird painted on the back of the door.

"Well did you find it?" Helga asks whimsically

"Yeah I did, I got to say it's my favorite one so far." I state

"I'm sorry, I'm so lost, what were you looking for?" Lila says confused

"Oh nothing." Helga utters "Anyways I think Stinky is looking for you, he needs help with his biology lab report."

"Oh my goodness, thanks for reminding me. I forgot that we were partners for the lab, well thanks for meeting me here Arnold." Lila says flirtatiously "See you later Helga." She says flatly

"Yeah sure, no problem Lila." I say awkwardly

"Bye ginger, see you later." Helga says mischievously

Lila runs back inside the school as I sit there like an idiot not knowing what to say. Helga takes out a pack of cigarettes and begins to smoke.

"I didn't know you smoke?" I say surprised

"Well there's a lot about me you don't know."

I guess she's right, to be honest I never really knew Helga that well. I know she's allergic to strawberries, her birthday is a week before April 1st, and that she likes sports. That was the old Helga from grade school; the new Helga is complexly different. Who knows what she likes now.

"When did you begin to smoke?" I ask trying to start a conversation

"I don't remember know, I think it was during a senior party back when I was a sophomore. Sid was with me and I guess we got curious and ever since there I smoke on occasions."

I stay silent for a minute trying to see what else I can ask. "Why are you smoking now? Usually when people smoke on occasions, it's when they are stressed out." I ask

"Umm, well, I-I just wanted to smoke today. I felt like it, ok!" She says raising her voice.

"Well, if you don't want to tell me that's fine. I was just curious." I say trying to keep my voice in check.

"If you really need to know Arnoldo, my family has been a little too much for me right now. So I guess I am a little stressed out." She mumbles

"Why, is everything alright?" I ask a little worried.

"Everything is fine; we almost seem like a normal family."

"So what's the problem?" I ask confused.

"My family has always been dysfunctional since I can remember, I was always pushed a side to live in the shadows of Olga; ever since my accident though, my parents have changed." She takes a long drag from the square as she continues to where she left off. "Miriam has stopped drinking, which is great, and Bob has stopped working during the weekends."

"Ok." I say not knowing what else to ask.

"You have to understand that I was never really shown love or affection from my parents, and now that they are paying more attention to me, it's fucking weird. It sort of pisses me off that they were never like that when I was younger; I wouldn't have been such a basket case. I guess what I am trying to say is that, I am overwhelmed by my parents' affection, it's too much for me to handle."

We stay silent for a minute while I process what Helga just told me. I always thought she was lucky that she had both her parents, but I guess they never really showed her their love. In a way I was extremely lucky to have been loved by my grandparents. Without them I don't know what would have happen to me.

"I can honestly say I understand you a lot better now." I say triumphantly

"Oh really now?"

"Yeah, for the longest time I never understood why you were, the way you were. Now it all makes sense, I guess if I were in your shoes, I would have been sort of like you."

"So you would have been a complete bully and bitch to everyone?" Helga ask.

"Maybe, but I would have been very protective over my feelings. I would probably push people away so that they don't have the chance to hurt or disappoint me."

"Aren't you a little Freud Sigmund in the making?" she asks jokingly

She finishes her cigarette and takes out a piece of gum while spraying herself with a body mist. Now I know why she never smells like smoke.

"What are you doing after school today?" I say before changing my mind about asking

"Not sure yet, Brainy and I were going to go see a movie but he might be working tonight. Why?"

"Just asking if you wanted to hang out, it's been a while since we hung out." I say trying to sound casual

"I'll text you if I am free later. Are you sure you don't have plans with little miss ginger?" Helga says exasperated

"Lila? No, she's not my type." I say hoping she doesn't mention the almost kiss, that Lila initiated.

"Why not? I saw you getting cozy with her before I walked in on you guys." I can hear her voice getting irritated

"I guess I have my eye on someone else, besides I was about to pull away before you came prancing in." I say playfully

"Who do you fancy now?" Helga questions with a fake British accent

"Just some girl who happens to be different from the rest, she's like the black sheep of the group." I retort back with an accent as well, trying to play along.

Helga laughs as I see a small blush start to form on her cheeks. Before I say anything else, she looks at her phone.

"We should get to class; I don't want to be late again."

**[Sid]**

"So are you going to text him later?" I ask

"I don't know if it's a good idea, I promised Phoebe I wouldn't hang out with him alone until after our road trip."

After Helga texted me about her encountered with Arnold we decided to skip the rest of the day and meet in the roof of the old building.

"Why is that?"

"I don't know, our road trip is supposed to be therapeutic or some crap." She says peeved

"When is your mini cruise trip then?"

"Next week I believe, we want to hit the road before the weather gets cold." We stay silent for a while as we listen to some music.

"What are you thinking about right now?" I ask

"I'm deciding on whether I should hang out with Arnold or not. I want to, but I'm not sure it's a good idea. I can't function right when I'm around him." Helga says frustrated

"So what's stopping you, hang out with Arnold. Phoebe never said that you couldn't hang out with him with someone else." I say hoping she gets my drift.

"You're right, I will hang out with him and you are going to come with me."

"Yeah good for you, go and… wait a minute no, why me?" I ask with a smirk

"You're my best friend, do I need another reason?" She sneers

"No, Phoebe is your best friend." I retort back

"You're right, but she has a well-deserved date with hair boy, Brainy is working tonight and well you have nothing to do today."

"Oh that's even worse, I'm chosen by default! What are we going to do though?" I question her

"Leave it up to me, I have to go and make plans then." She jumps off onto the tree as she climbs down to the ground.

"See you later Sid." She shouts from the ground

"Later Ruby." I say teasingly

"Again with the nicknames, I'm the only one that can do that!" She says

"Whatever you say."

"Fuck you then." She says sticking her tongue out. "Make sure to take out your glove from your closet." She says running off before I ask any more questions.

**[Helga]**

"Yeah, bring the ginger fairy too." I tell Harold over the phone.

It's been a while since the whole gang has gone to Gerald Field for a little baseball game. I think it's time we call a reunion, even though I'm a bit less rough with them, I will always be one of the boys. I had called Harold to bring the baseball equipment from the school earlier, in case any of the guys need a glove. I already called the whole gang a few minutes ago to meet at the field.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and take it out.

**Arnold: Baseball G. Field, can't wait **

**Me: Same here, it's going to be like the good old days. Are you there yet?" **

**Arnold: Yeah I just got here. **

**Me: Who's there?**

**Arnold: Everybody, we're just waiting for you.**

**Me: Almost there, I'm like a block away. **

With every step closer to the field I already start to feel my adrenaline pumping, I had to run home and change to some yoga pants and my softball t-shirt. I pulled my hair into a bun with my lucky black bandana around my head, styling it like Tupac. I finally turn the corner and I see all the guys gathered around the pitchers mound.

"What's up bitches?" I shout as I make my way over there.

"What's good Pataki?" I hear in unison.

"Alright what's the game plan?"

"Harold and Gerald are captains; they're picking people." Stinky says

"Why am I never the captain?" I say jokingly

"Because you're always late, get here early then we'll talk." Sid says

"The baseball reunion was my idea dicks!" I say grinning

"True, but we already decided." Gerald says

"Let's get to it then, Gerald you pick first." Harold says, giving him the honor of picking first. We all line up as we wait to be called.

"Thanks buddy, alright let's see, Arnold." He says, pointing towards Arnold.

"Helga, come over here." Harold demands

"Coming pink boy." I retort back.

"Stinky"

"Sid"

"Iggy"

"You can pick twice" Gerald tells Harold, Harold nods in agreement as he picks the next two people

"Brainy"

"Curly"

"It's Thad now." Curly says

"You will always be Curly to us." Harold replies back. Curly walks towards our team with a smirk.

"I'm sorry, what's your name again?" Gerald asks to the last person standing.

I remember when I first started to play ball with the boys I would always be chosen last, then they started to pick me first when they saw how good I was. I always felt bad for the person who would get picked last; then again I didn't care as long as it wasn't me.

"It's Marcus." He says

Marcus has long dark hair covering over his eyes, never really noticed him before until now. To be honest I didn't even know he was friends with one of the guys. He suddenly stares intensely at me for a few seconds, Marcus was not bad looking, really an average Joe but something about his gaze made it really uncomfortable.

He quickly turns around, making his long stare seem unnoticed by the guys. I shake the feeling of discomfort as I focus on the game.

Harold, Sid, Brainy, Curly and me are batting first while Gerald's' team takes the field. We pick our bats, courtesy to Harold from the school, as we decide the line-up.

"Sorry I'm late you guys, theater ended later than expected." I hear Eugene yell

"We already picked man, you can be umpire." I hear Gerald say

"That's fine; I didn't have time to change my dress shoes anyway." Eugene walks towards the home plate as he stumbles over followed by his "I'm fine" dialogue.

"Oh lord, tinkle toes you are a hot mess." I say

"Last week was Tinker Bell, and then ginger fairy, after that princess, now tinkles toes." He says with a sneer "Which one is it Pataki?"

"It often changes with my mood, it's never stable, and you should know that by now." I say sticking out my tongue playfully.

"You ready to get your asses covered in dirt?" Gerald shouts from the pitcher's mound.

"Hell yeah, I hope you enjoy disappointment because we will destroy you!" Harold says with confidence, Gerald just rolls his eyes as he gets ready to throw the first pitch.

Gerald throws a curve ball at Harold when he hits the ball towards right field. Harold gets a single and I take my bat to swing next.

"Bring me home Pataki!" Harold yells from first base.

Gerald throws the ball and I hit a foul ball, I curse while I get my bat ready again. Gerald takes his time and throws another curve ball, only this time I manage to hit it towards left field. I heard the bop from the bat and run towards first, then second and finally sliding to third base.

My team cheers as I take a bow smiling with a victorious grin. We manage to get a couple more runs with the score being 4-0

I play catcher while Harold and Sid switch between innings for the pitchers position. After 9 innings of competitive playing we get a final score of 14-17, with our team winning of course. Brainy had left earlier for work so Eugene replaced him for the last innings, even with his jinks self we somehow managed to win.

"Nice game you guys." Arnold says to everyone.

"We sure need to get together more often." Gerald states.

"Hell yeah we do." Sid says in unison with Harold.

"Alright bitches, lets drop the equipment at the school then we can grab some grub, I'm starving." I say as I put the catchers stuff in Harold's truck along with the other equipment.

"Who's riding with who?" Curly says

"Harold, Arnold, and Iggy have cars, so everyone split up." Stinky speaks.

"Where do you guys want to eat?" Arnold asks

"Gene and Jude's?" I suggest to the guys.

The guys nod in agreement as we split into different cars. Marcus and I ride with Harold to drop off the equipment while the rest of the guys meet us at Gene and Jude's. During the entire ride I couldn't rid of the stomach churning feeling I had, I have nothing against Marcus but something about him just threw me off. We made small talk but most of the time we just blasted the radio to avoid conversation.

Gene and Jude's has become my favorite place since my first date with Sid, it reminded me of the 1950's. Juke box at the end of the place with a long bar and red stools facing the windows, it's more of a drive-in diner; you order your stuff and eat in your car.

The guys are already in the parking waiting for us when we arrive. We hop out of Harold's truck and we make our way towards the gang. The place is known for their famous Chicago style hot dogs and French curly fries.

We walk into the diner and place our orders, when our order is done we walk back outside and place the food on the hood of the car.

I quickly unwrap my hot dog and take a bite out of it.

"Oh god, it's like an orgasm in my mouth." I say in between bites

The guys just look at me with a weird expression in their faces.

"What?" I say clueless

"Helga, come on really?" Iggy smirks

"Oh come on guys, we're all mature enough to handle words like orgasm, sex, vagina, and penis." I say emphasizing the word penis. They all laugh at the word penis, making my point invalid.

"Never mind, I spoke to soon." Taking another bite at my hot dog and throwing a curly fry in my mouth.

"You always did have a dirty mouth Pataki." Gerald says making everyone laugh

We finish eating our food with other conversations, like school, and what we were up to now. It felt nice being with the guys again, I had forgotten how much I missed these goof balls. After eating we decided to hang out for a little bit more before departing our ways. We all said our goodbyes as I hand shake the guys, I had decided to walk home since it was such a nice evening.

Harold was not letting me go so easily, I had to threaten him with Ol'Betsy, he had a laugh at that but he finally agreed to let me go, as long as I texted or called him when I arrived home.

I started to walk away when I heard my name called.

"Hey Helga, wait up." I heard a familiar shout from behind me.

I turn around to see who called. "Marcus?" I say surprised

"Do you mind if I walk you home." He says

"If you think I can't take care of myself, you must not know me well enough." I state

"I know exactly who you are; I just wanted to talk to you." He says calmly

"If you don't mind I would prefer to walk alone." I say flatly

"Well Harold already left, and since your house is on the way, I might as well walk with you."

"Let's get walking then, come on you." I say exasperated

We walk in silence for a while until Marcus disrupts the peace.

"So how long have you lived here." He asks

"All my life, born and raised. What about you?" I say

"I moved here during freshman year, I kept a low profile until Jr. year."

"That would explain why I don't know you, I saw you around but never had an actually conversation." I say in response

"How long have you known the boys?" He says curiously

"Pretty much all my life, when we started high school we sort of separated but we always kept in touch with each other."

We walk for a couple more blocks in silence when I feel Marcus clearing his throat, as if he was trying to get my attention.

"Are you ok?" I ask raising my eyebrow.

"Listen I was wondering, what are you doing Saturday night?" He says intimidated

Really, as if I needed more guys to be interested in me, I don't want to sound egotistical but come on!

"I'm not sure, why?" I say already knowing where this was leading too.

"Would you like to go to the movies with me?" He says.

I take a deep breath before answering him.

"Listen Marcus, you look like a nice guy but I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not interested, there's someone else that I can't seem to get over, if I accept going with you then it would not be fair to you." I say.

"Oh" he finally manages to say after a long silence.

"Is it Sid?" He asks

"Sid?" I choke out. "No we are just friends now, what makes you think it's Sid?" I ask shocked.

"Because Sid was your last boyfriend." He states coolly

"No, it's not Sid I can assure you." I say firmly. "I'm sorry but I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"It's fine, I was just curious."

We continued to talk about school, our interest and just regular stuff, but that nagging feeling of discomfort in my stomach just never went away. Call me paranoid or over exaggerated but something was off.

"We're here." Marcus says

I stop abruptly, not knowing I was in front of my house.

"Oh." I manage to say feeble

"See you in school tomorrow." Marcus says as he walks away.

I'm left dumbfounded on my stoop, managing to know how he knew where I live.

**A/N **

**Ok so here is another chapter, please review. Marcus is a character I made up and everyone else mentioned does not belong to me. I will have another OC that will be present along with the gang. I really enjoyed writing this chapter mainly because it was fun and not gloomy like the ones before. However, it's not going to be all sweets and rainbows. Anyways please review and sorry for this really late update! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**[Helga]**

"Phoebe, how the hell did you manage to do all of this!?" I say in excitement.

I didn't really think we would be able to pull it through, but Pheebs somehow managed. A whole week without school and nothing but the roads and the adventures we will have; this is going to be the best week of my life.

"Well, I'm very persuasive. I told my parents missing school wasn't going to affect my grades as long as I turned them in ahead." Phoebe says

"Wait, so you're telling me, you turned in all of your homework?" I say half shocked.

"Well of course, otherwise this little road trip would not exist."

"That's so you, I haven't even started on mine." I say throwing my feet onto the dashboard as we drive through an empty state highway.

Luckily the weather is nice and we were able to drive with the cover of the car down, Phoebe was able to persuade her parents into borrowing her mom's convertible. I have to say it feels like we are in a movie, with my long blonde hair flowing through the wind as we go into the empty roads. No road trip is complete without awesome sunglasses, so I saved some money to buy a pair of black ray bans for Phoebe and me.

"Do you want to stop at a gas station for some coffee before we find a decent diner for breakfast?" Phoebe asks me.

"Yeah, I could use some caffeine to wake me up. You know because I'm usually sleeping about now, and it's not because it's six in the fucking morning!" I say jokingly

"Did you know an apple wakes you up faster than coffee?"

"No I didn't Pheebs, why didn't you bring apples then?" I retort back.

"I did." She says reaching in the back of her seat. "You should have one." She states, taking a bite of the apple.

"Of course you did." I say grabbing an apple from her hand and biting it. "So what's in the agenda for today?" I ask her.

"If we're lucky we can get to Chicago before 7pm, I have a family member that live outside the city."

"Suburbs peps, where at?" I say curiously.

"Westchester, small quite suburb, I went to visit my cousins two summers ago there. I was thinking of staying at a motel, but we should save some money."

"Good idea." I say thinking of the week to come, "Brainy gave me a list of hangouts we should check out before we leave, and he gave us a little present before we left." I show her two fake I.D's.

"That is totally sweet! We can go into bars and hit the awesome clubs in the downtown area." Phoebe gushes with excitement.

"I know I hope you have some slutty clothes because we are on hard core clubbing mode as of now!" I shout rising up the volume of the car to the single of "Call Me Maybe".

We drive for another hour talking about what we were thinking of doing after high school and our college plans.

"This looks like a nice diner to have breakfast at." Phoebe says as she pulls the car into the parking lot.

"Yes because I'm starving, but before we go in its picture time!" I say pulling Phoebe into the view of the camera. "Say Cheese."

"Cheese" We say in unison

We go into the small diner and order our food.

"So how exactly is this road trip therapeutic for me?" I ask Phoebe

"Well I'm not sure yet, but it will be." She says with confidence.

"If you say so Pheebs." I yawn and stretch my arms and legs from the long ride in the car. "So how have you and Tall hair boy been?" I ask curiously.

"Fine" She says hesitantly.

"Fine?" I question her. "Phoebe you can't lie to me, what's going on?"

"This is between you and me." She says as the waitress comes with our food. "Thanks" Phoebe and I says to the waitress; we take a few bites of our food before Phoebe continues. "Gerald and I connect on an emotional level, I'm very happy with that, but there is so much sexual tension between us its crazy."

I raise my eyebrow in confusion, "So what you're telling me is that you haven't done the deed with tall hair boy?" I question her.

"Yeah, pretty much." She says while she takes a bite from her toast.

"So why don't you do it? Are you not ready?" I ask again

"It's not that simple, there have been moments where it is appropriate to be intimate but for some reason he stops and we do something different." She stutters.

I try to figure out the information she gave me but I'm at a loss of words.

"This is harder to explain." Phoebe says sipping some coffee. "The other day we were at my house and my parents weren't home; we sort of got carried away and then we were half naked. All of a sudden Gerald pats me on my back, turns on the t.v, and puts his clothes on. He was acting very weird afterwards, almost as if he was nervous, he wouldn't even look or touch me." She says exasperated. "What if he's not physically attracted to me?"

I want to laugh at her confusion, because she has everything all wrong.

"What?" She asks confused.

"Phoebe, for being the smartest kid in school you're slow. Don't you see that he loves you?" I explain to her. "If he didn't have control of his body, you two would have been all over each other like gorillas. As cocky as Gerald seems you intimidate him, he knows you are too good for him. What I'm getting at is, he's waiting for the perfect moment for such a perfect girl." I say

Phoebe is taken aback by my response but soon gets her composure back. "Do you really think so?" she asks.

"Do I think so? I know so!" We both smile at each other and finish eating our breakfast. We split the check and I leave a tip to our waitress. I put on my sunglasses as Phoebe and I walk towards the car.

"It's so beautiful right now; I can't wait to get to Chicago and sleep." I say

"We aren't going to drive all the way to Chicago to sleep." Phoebe sneers at me.

"Fine whatever, but we should take a power nap before heading to the night life!" I shout in excitement

We hit the road going northwest towards Chicago; I put my hair down letting the wind go through it. For the last hour Phoebe and I just blast some music signing along with the lyrics and taking pictures of the places we pass.

We pass through some corn fields, small towns when all of a sudden we stop on the side of a bridge.

"Why did we stop?" I ask Phoebe

"I'm hoping you brought your bikini because we are jumping off bridges!" She says gleefully taking of her clothes that reveal her navy blue bikini.

"What do you mean jumping off bridges?" I shout as I catch up to her.

"I found this place on one of the many drives to Chicago; we had a flat tire and pulled on the side. When I was walking around I saw the river that's below the metal bridge. You can't really see it driving by because of all the trees that block the way."

"Holy crap Phoebe, this is so beautiful." I take off my clothes not bothering to change into my bikini; I climb down to the metal bars of the bridge that reveal the crystal clear river.

"What about your bathing suit?" Phoebe asks while we stand on the bottom edge of the bridge

"It's at the bottom of my suitcase; I'm just too lazy to get it." I shrug as I look at the 15 foot fall from the water.

"You're not scared, right Pataki?" Phoebe challenges me.

I take a deep breath and gather all my strength to accept the challenge. "Me, Helga G. Pataki, scared? Never, I accept your challenge." I shout with as much confident as I could.

Phoebe extends her hand in a fist; I raise one eyebrow in confusion.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors. Winner jumps first." She states

I extend a fist as well, while we both count down.

"Alright, 1, 2, 3. Rock, Paper, Scissors." We say together.

"Rock beats Scissors Pataki!" Phoebe shouts.

"Damn it." I curse silently muffling my fear of heights; I try to maintain a cool outer shell while on the inside I'm freaking out.

"Well, whenever you're ready. We can always call it off." Phoebe challenges me.

"Call it off? Never, I'm just preparing myself…so I…uh...don't pull a muscle." I say as convincingly as possible. Without saying another word Phoebe pushes me off the ledge, I struggle to form into a fetus position to avoid injuries; somehow managing I go into the water in a cannon ball. I dive up from the water into the surface and get some air.

"You bitch!" I say in accusation.

"I'm sorry hoe, but you were taking forever. Now watch and learn." Phoebe shouts as she elegantly jumps high into the air making a double turn and dives perfectly with minimum splash. Baffled by the beauty of her dive I wait while she comes up. I start to worry when she doesn't come out of the water, I begin to swim around and call her name as my anxiety accelerates.

"Phoebe, where are you? You better not make me go and fetch you!" I shout to no one.

"Ahhhhh! Scared you Pataki!" Phoebe yells from behind me while jumping on top of me.

"Seriously you gave me a heart attack! I though you got sucked into a whirlpool, transporting you into another dimension or time zone!" I say teasingly

"Yeah well I'm still here, so let's jump one more time before we leave."

"Already? We just got here." I pout.

"We're on a tight schedule, we can be here for maybe 15 more minutes."

"Fine, whatever, race you to the top!" I shout as I'm swimming towards the bridge.

We swim and jump for a few more rounds, trying to see who can make the most turns before hitting the water. I feel so exhausted from climbing and swimming I'm relieved when we finally dry off and get in the car to continue on our voyage. I've never felt more care free without worries in my life, I can't even remember the last time I was this happy. I truly don't deserve Phoebe, she has been with me in my most darkest moments and in my least dark moments, I can't believe she has manage to stay with me after all this years. I might not deserve a friend like her but I sure as hell am glad she stayed with me. Who knows where I would have ended up without her.

After a few hours of driving I break my silence.

"Hey Pheebs?" I ask nervously

"Yes Helga?"

"Ok, don't make fun of me; I'm only saying this because I trust you with my life." I say waiting to see her reaction.

"Just spit it out, I won't laugh." She assures me.

"I'm going all corny on you but, I think this is a special moment and it's appropriate to say this. Anyways I'm so happy that we're friends and I truly and sincerely love you with all my heart, I wouldn't know what to do without you. So I guess what I'm trying to tell you is, I love you and I'm glad we are friends because without you I would be lost." I say trying not to lose my grip with my emotions.

"Oh Helga, that has to be the most beautiful thing you have said to me in a long time. I'm going to cry that was so beautiful." She starts to pull the car over to hug me in a tight bearing hug. "I love you so much too, I'm so happy we are friends!"

"Oh no don't cry, you're going to make me cry, and Helga G. Pataki does not cry. This is why I don't get emotional." I hug her back as we sit for a few minutes embracing and crying in silence.

We both pull back wiping away the evidence of the tears and we both just smile at each other.

"Alright now, How long until we get to our destination?" I ask trying to keep my breath steady.

"Only like 2 more hours, it's already 6:30, so we're a little behind schedule." She confirms

We stay silent for a while, just listening to the music from our iPods, we seem to be in the southern part of Indiana since all I see are corn fields and farms. I'm a bit fascinated by all the animals and vast empty areas; I guess growing up in the city does take all the small pleasures in life away.

My mind starts to wonder off to Hillwood, I start to think of what Arnold, Sid and the gang are doing; Phoebe has however prohibited any communication between them as part of her therapeutic treatment for me. The only people I can call are my parents but it's so weird when they call me every now and then to check on me. I appreciate their efforts but they need to tone it down a bit, for the longest time they never really cared where I went or what I was doing but ever since my accident they have been like crazy concerned.

I close my eyes for a minute just to rest for 5 minutes but before I know it Phoebe is nudging me, telling me to wake up.

"Pataki, the whole world could be crashing down and you wouldn't even know it. Get up we're here you lazy bum." Phoebe exclaimed

"I know I sleep like a rock, don't yell so much." I yawned as I stretched, "I'm coming, I'm coming!" I shout as I get out from the car.

"So this is Westchester?"

"Yes this is it, Chicago is only a 15 minute ride from here, can you believe it? You wouldn't even now if you drove right pass."

It seems like a small town to raise children but big enough to not know everyone's business. To be honest I though all the houses would look the same, but they actually vary from sizes and colors. This would be the perfect place to raise children.

"PHOEBE!" I turn around to see a petite girl with raven black hair running towards Phoebe.

"Alice! It's so good to see you." Phoebe and Alice exchange a warm hug before she turns around to notice me.

"You must be Helga, I heard so much about you darling." She hugs me tightly before I had the chance to respond. "Grab your things and come inside, you must be tired from the long drive." We gathered our things quickly as we follow Alice inside her small 2 bedroom house.

"Wow, you redecorated since the last time I came." The living room looks cozy and warm, with the walls painted a soft yellow that makes the room glow.

"I just painted and changed the curtains, nothing major. Anyways my roommate is on vacation and she said it was ok for you guys to use her room, she has a queen size bed so it's enough room for the two of you."

"That was really nice of her." I state.

"Hey Alice I'm going to go wash up and I'll probably sleep in early, I'm taking Helga early for you know what."

"Where are you taking me Pheebs?"

"I'm not saying, but I suggest you sleep in early because we are leaving at 4:30am tomorrow." She closes the door to the bathroom not giving me the chance to protest.

"What do you feel like having Mexican food or Burgers?" Alice shouts from the kitchen.

"Mexican!"

"Mexican it is, tell Pheebs we are leaving in 10 minutes. There is another bathroom in the basement that you can use if you want."

"Ok thanks, I'll be ready in 5 then."

I tell Phoebe that we are leaving in 10 minutes and I rush to the basement to get ready as well. When I get out of the bathroom they were already waiting for me, I grab my purse as we head to Alice's car. We're in the car for 7 minutes before she parks the car in what look like a Mexican neighborhood.

"Where are we?" I ask

"You wanted Mexican food, what better place than a Mexican barrio, right?" Alice says heading towards the front door of the restaurant.

"To better answer your question Helga, we are in Melrose Park. It used to be an Italian neighborhood but now the majority is Mexicans."

"Oh that's cool, do you think we can walk around after we're done here?"

"Yeah of course darling, you are going to love this place. Their enchiladas are the best!"

After sitting down we continue with our small talk, Alice ask me about my plans and my goals and I ask her what she does and why she moved to Chicago. Phoebe and I share how we became friends and our many adventures we shared back in Hillwood, we talked all throughout our meals. After leaving the restaurant Alice took us to an amazing ice cream place called Dulce Vida, we walked there since it was across the street. I have not had anything more delicious and sweet then a royal cream; it's sort of like a sundae but with a hint of heaven. After devouring our desserts we walked along 19th street as we passed local corner stores and then we walked to a Mexican bakery where I just went crazy and bought everything that I could grab, while Alice and Phoebe just stare at me in awe.

"What I like food." I state

"I don't know how you manage you stay so thin Helga." Phoebe giggles.

It was barely 10:30 and I was already sleeping once we got in the car, Phoebe and Alice had to half carry my ass to the front of the house.

"Damn Helga, you might be thin but you sure are heavy." Alice shouts.

"Way to make me feel better Alice." I walk into the house in a zombie like posture heading straight towards the room. I had enough time to take my shoes before I slowly lost conscious as I entered a deep dreamless sleep.

**A/N**

**I'm so sorry for taking long, but for some reason this chapter has been so hard for me to finish and I had school and I went to the hospital, point is life got in the way. Anyway it's mostly a filler chapter before we get to the good stuff. I wanted the whole road trip to be one chapter but it would be to long of a chapter so I will split it in half. So please review and tell me what you think, pretty please! **


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